Ladies of Reddit who forgave their partner for something seemingly unforgivable, how is it going now?

8 comments

1. Ooof, I’m no longer in this relationship but here’s the story:

   He cheated on me with a mutual friend at my house. I decided to forgive him and we decided to be together but not exclusive since he had recently moved a few states away. He told me he wasn’t going to see the mutual friend again regardless of not being exclusive. I visited him twice. The second time, his friends were acting very strange around me. I found out the mutual friend had visited a couple weeks before me. I started cutting off contact from him after that and then he got mad when I wanted to see other people.

   Soooo, it didn’t work out even though I forgave him, lol. I 100% regret forgiving him and wish I had set better boundaries.

2. My partner cheated on me when we were six months into a long distance relationship. He was using tinder, but he didn’t meet up with anyone or do anything further. Originally I broke up with him but called him about a week later and we worked through things. It took a lot of hard conversations, such as admitting we weren’t really in love with each other despite saying so. It took me probably close to 1.5 years to actually get over it. That took even more hard conversations, such as why he did it and why I chose to stay (which was for selfish reasons actually). It took a lot of apologizing on his part and a lot of skepticism on my part. My trust eventually came back and I don’t think he would do it again, now 4 years into our relationship. I never thought it would stay with someone who cheated but we have a very loving relationship now.

3. My partner slept with someone else about 3ish years ago. When he told me, I realized that I wasn’t even a little bit mad. Me and her went out to dinner and went for a hike together and became good friends. I discovered that it’s actually really fun to gossip about a dude who we’re both had sex with. We do the same genre of crafts, so we always share extra materials and patterns.

   Now I don’t care if he sleeps with other people. They’re usually really cool women and I really enjoy hearing about it afterwards.

4. Ended up breaking up as I realised I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not and I was sick of trying to work through trickle truthing after he cheated. Then I started to see it elsewhere.

   The trust and years of friendship before dating just eroded. I couldn’t even rely upon him to accurately recount the weather and he was cagey all of a sudden on his devices. That’s when I was done.

   Thank goodness as a few years later I met my husband.

5. 6 months in, he cheated on me. After some time, I gave him a second chance and all has been great for ten years.

6. Well we are going through a separation now and basically have a lot of animosity towards each other. Should have just ended a long time ago. Like 8 years ago.

7. My boyfriend of 2 or 3 years ghosted me for a month after a small fight. I was so destroyed, I couldn’t eat or do anything. I messaged him and poured my heart out and told him how bad I was doing over it. No reply. Then one day I manage to get him to get him to answer his phone and he said he did it to prove something to himself and that he knew how much I’d suffer, but he thought I’d get over it. He also had read my messages and still let me suffer knowing exactly what I was going through and how I much I loved him, I was a basket case the whole time. Then he apologized I forgave him. The problem was, he said he forgot what exactly he was trying to prove to himself, so that stuck with me and because I didn’t know his reason, I feared it would happen again. After two more years together, I broke up with him because I got tired of the way he treated me and I always had that fear of him leaving or ghosting me again. The last effort I made was talking to him about his behaviour and he said he’d never even try to work on it. Ironically, he told me he’d do anything to prevent us breaking up once I told him I was leaving, but it was too late, my love had faded into just wanting to get away from him and I told him there was nothing he could do.

   I have a lovely boyfriend of two years now.

8. My ex husband got black out drunk at his birthday party last September. A few friends slept over and my best friend woke up to him inappropriately touching them. I wanted out, but he convinced me he would change and I stayed. He stopped drinking and we started individual therapy. Fast forward 8 months and I’ve made huge progress and have really worked on myself which had only brought out the worst in him. He became jealous, insecure, and called me selfish. We’ve been separated for 2 months now and I’ll be filing for divorce soon.