I 25m was in a long term relationship of 3 years with my ex 24f. It started in 2020 during covid outbreak and lasted until 2023. I had known that girl since my school days and we had been good friends but we never thought of each other romantically until then but in 2020, we came close. It grew more than friendship. She was hesitant at first but then finally agreed that we should give each other a chance.
Some background – I believe in long term relationships, especially those which last for years. I had only been in 3 relationships and all of them lasted for 3+ years whereas she had a lot of ex boyfriends and wasn't long term relationship material. During our talks, she portrayed that she had never been treated right and I believed her. Also, we both were highly sexually active, hence no problems in the bed either.
However she was a red flag and not because of the usual stuff but because her decisions always involved her benefit only. She left me and went to a different city in a different state because her cat needed a safe space away from her parents. It became a long distance relationship. She started staying in the same apartment as her ex. Her ex also started making moves on her but she avoided. I am a pretty open minded person when it comes to stuff like this but surely I was getting uncomfortable. Also, because of my job I couldn't move in with her.
Then in 2023, I faced my biggest downfall. I lost my job. My career came to a halt. She was not there for me, either physically or mentally. Eventually, she broke up with me saying that she didn't love me. That shit hurt like hell and I felt like I had been backstabbed. 3 years of relationship ended just like that. Then she started manufacturing reasons for our breakup. She went around telling her family and friends that I cheated on her, started soiling my name.
I didn't retaliate. She then got into a new relationship 2 months after the breakup. I was flabbergasted wondering how quickly she moved on. It pained to see her with her new bf but I got help. My family, old friends whom I had ignored in the past because of this relationship, some new people, everybody came in to support me at that time for which I am eternally grateful. Over time I felt that whatever happened was for the good only. I didn't have any grudges on her.
Until recently, she came back in my life. Apologizing for her behaviour, telling me how stupid she was for doing it and how her family told her that she shouldn't have left me. She wanted to get back with me. I had forgiven her so I told her we can be friends and see where it goes from there. It was going cool and then we talked about the gap time and what we did. She told how her new boyfriend (now ex) was a red flag and how she never moved on from him. As the talks went through, she told me that she cheated on her ex with her manager. And also how she felt guilty about it. But that statement made me feel pukish. The manager was married and she knew, even then she went ahead with it. Her explanation was that she was intoxicated and couldn't control it.
Now after hearing this, at first, I couldn't believe her. Then I started feeling nauseous as to how low she can fall down to. Also it has raised thoughts in my mind like what if she was cheating on me the time she moved to a different state. I have lost my respect for her. I don't know what to do. Hence any help will be appreciated.
TL;DR – My ex left me and returned only for me to find out that she has become a cheater. I don't know what to do.