For context, I’ve been married about 20 years and during that time my wife has repeatedly accused me of putting other people, places, and things ahead of her. She says this despite the fact that I never hang out with friends, I hardly see my family, and almost all of my free time is spent with her.
I am a creative person and have spent most of my life changing careers every 5 years or so while trying to find the best fit for me; this has been frustrating for both of us but for different reasons.
Recently I discovered my purpose in life, which is huge for me, but when I shared this with my wife she said this was just another thing I would put ahead of her.
I’ve tabled my purpose for the last 6 months while in marriage counseling but my wife recently told me (in a fit of anger) that if I still want to pursue my purpose then she wants a divorce. This is bewildering to me because not only does she get almost all of my free time but I also encourage her to pursue those things that she is passionate about.
Is this ultimatum reasonable? To me it seems like codependent behavior (something I’m working on through personal counseling) to give up my purpose to make her happy. Is the husband’s sole purpose in life to make his wife happy?