My crush(17F) and I(17M) have known each other for 5 years. We’ve always had a strong friendship with some romantic moments. And I’ve had a crush on her since middle school. I stupidly cut her off for 2 years and we rebuilt the friendship just this year. We became the closest this year when we got our cars. We went shopping, eating, and got car washes together all the time, the normal things teenagers do. A few days ago we were with our friends discussing cheating in a class and we mentioned checking arms for loose cheating papers. I stupidly mentioned the slits on my crushes arm without realizing what I had just done. I don’t know what possessed me to say something about something that is very personal to her. She confronted me about it later in the day in a text and I apologized to her. We proceeded to argue and it resulted me in apologizing following up a long paragraph expressing my true feelings towards her. She then proceeds to not text back which I find understandable. When I go to text her to check up on her I found out I’m blocked. So I thought nothing of it and went to sleep. Then the next morning she doesn’t park next to me. I know parking shouldn’t matter but ours is different. Everyday we would walk to class together and when we leave school we would have our usual 5 minute talk in one our cars following up with a goodbye wave. This wave was always awkward but cute. In class she refuses to talk to me and when leaving school she gets in her car and drives off without saying a word. The next day I catch up to her trying to apologize once again, but not even letting me finish she storms off and says “we’re not friends anymore.” At this point I feel like I just ruined my life. And with summer break coming closer I’m losing time. I’m devastated. I haven’t been able to sleep for the past 4 days. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been contemplating ending my life. I know I’m fairly young, but she’s the only girl that has ever made me feel something different and if I lose her then I have nothing else to live for. So what should I do in this situation?
3 comments
I don’t understand the situation. Slits on her arms? Does she cut herself/is this self harm?
I totally understand all the feelings that you’re expressing here. If this is a self harm thing, yes, I could see that she was hurt. It sounds like she told you about that in confidence?
I know it hurts not to be able to talk to her to explain yourself, but I’m thinking maybe give it a few more days. Let her cool off a little bit. Then try to give her a letter saying what you told us here. If you’re blocked online, print it or hand write it on a piece of paper and physically give it to her.
I know this hurts so badly, but whatever happens with this one you will be okay. I know it feels hopeless and that you will never feel this way again. But I promise you will. This was your first, so it seems a million times worse. I went through something similar when I was your age.
If she refuses to talk to you after she’s cooled off, that kinda shows immaturity and a lack of ability to forgive.
The best thing you can do for yourself right now is self-care. Remember that you matter too! Eat, sleep as much as you can on a proper schedule (so that your body doesn’t get out of a routine). Try to get outside and walk or exercise. These things are good for your ability to sleep and also for overall mood and health.
Hang out with your friends and let them know you’re having a hard time. You need extra support right now.
I promise you will be okay. 💜
**Edited to add…**
Not sure why I got downvoted. I’m sorry if I said anything offensive or hurtful. I would still like to help, if you’d like to explain a bit more.
She’s definitely mad, give her time and space to cool off. You guys took a few years off before. Give her time and stop thinking about her..she needs to process her mind and stop being mad at you ..if she wants to be back, it will have to be her initiative. It might take awhile, but if you give her time, it will help.
Give her some time. But also take some time for yourself. After a while and things have idk cooled down. Maybe try talking to her again if you still wish to be friends or more. If she’s willing to talk explain that you don’t know why you said that and how sorry you are and what you miss about the friendship. But also if she blocked you right after you confessed maybe she’s not interested in you like that? Don’t end your life man. I hope all goes well