i'm feeling really unsure about everything right now and i could use some advice or perspective. my (29f) boyfriend (30m) recently finished his airbus rating to become a pilot, but he's been struggling to find a job in the field, which i understand can be incredibly tough. but instead of actively looking for other job opportunities to gain experience and support himself, he spends most of his time playing dota and neglecting even basic chores like cleaning his room.
i've tried to encourage him to apply for other jobs in the meantime, just so he can start building his work experience and saving some money, but he seems content to just play video games all day. every time i bring up the topic, he gets defensive and dismisses my concerns.
when i gently suggested that he try to make his day more productive and maybe accomplish something, he snapped at me, and told me that i’m annoying.
i'm hurt and frustrated by his reaction. i'm not trying to nag him. i genuinely care about his well-being and our future together. we're not getting any younger, and i worry that if he continues like this, he'll be stuck in the same situation for the next years.
am i being unreasonable for wanting him to be more proactive and responsible? how can i approach this situation without causing further tension in our relationship? any advice would be greatly appreciated
TL;DR: my unemployed boyfriend called me "annoying" for urging him to be productive