What helped you get over losing a best friend?

20 comments

1. Time, distance, and experience

2. The realization that I had to be my own best friend. And the realization that every second is part of my life, so I might as well give every second my attention and gratitude.

3. She took hydrocodone while watching my 2 young children. I was only gone a couple of hours and when I came back she was asleep. Completely lied about it. She got defensive and left in a huff. She always talked over me or did not listen to anything I tried to say. It was a one-way conversation. She just inserted herself into my life because we were both veterans attending the same college. Our friendship lasted just a few months. I have so many stories about other friends which is why I have very few friends.

4. He wanted to get into a relationship with me, I refused. He thought he could change my opinion and tried to cuff me, that never worked. After that, he started ignoring me and commenting on me as “weird”, “insane” and “sl*t” because I didn’t want to leave my partner for him. I was deeply hurt, because I loved him (as a friend) and was really attached to. Time apart and understanding that people who love you accept your choices and don’t want you to ruin something dear to you just for them to be happy were the key for me. Also, therapy helped me get through this situation.

5. Honestly, just time same as a break up

6. Never having one in the first place.

7. [removed]

8. I mean- it sucks. Just time and the memories still kinda sting

9. Reminding myself of all the reasons why it needed to end.

10. Do you mean loosing as in died or as an broke contact?

    Dying: just time. In my case not a friend but a close relative died though. You will never fully get over, but you’ll lern to life without them, and adapt over time.

    Maybe it helps to write letters to them?

    Broke contact: new but different friends. You’re not looking for a substitute, your looking for an upgrade.
    (At least if they hurt you or anything. If you guys split up in good terms, then maybe just get compfy, and try not to think so much about them?

11. Reminding myself that I gave all I had inside of my heart and even more. It wasn’t my fault they walked away and I still had good people and good friends around me to support me. I did feel very upset, specially bc a girl I had feelings for start to play with my emotions and triggering my past and I couldn’t handle being like this and losing a good friend too. I almost lost myself, it was hard to simply not let go and completely drown.

    Today, I still miss the good moments we had but I remind myself those were good moments of innocence and simply not seeing the bad in this person.

    I’m okay, still finding myself sometimes but I am okay

12. [removed]

13. Training your mind.

14. [removed]

15. Hating him. Normally, hate isn’t healthy. But in this case, I was already hurt. Had to accept he wasn’t the person I thought he was. Hating him helped me break the bond I felt with him. He did something pretty fucked up, multiple times, to someone else, so hating him was easy. The part that hurt is realizing the person I thought of as a brother was actually a terrible person. I literally loved him like family.

16. Realizing how screwed over i was for years by her, and understanding i wasn’t in the wrong and i put myself in bad positions because i was her friends for 10+ years. i love her dearly always but she isn’t the same girl i grew up with anymore.

17. Following cus I don’t know….I just have to continuously remind myself that I often form deeper attachments to people than they do to me, that everyone has their own lives to lead and I do too…that friendships evolve and devolve and evolve again over time and sometimes it’s just good to have people in your life no matter the level of involvement. It’s still sad 🙁

18. I accepted that we changed so much since we were 13, we’re not the same people anymore. Growing apart was inevitable. We might not be friends anymore, but I know we both think fondly of the past when we were BFFs.

19. Finding a new one

20. Telling yourself that your feelings are valid. I also think forgiving the other person (doesn’t have to mean that you’ll be friends with them or even telling that person), wishing them well on their future endeavors, and move on. It’s brutal, but you’ll get through it.