I(20M) am not very talkative when I’m not with my friends, In family gatherings and with old people I’m usually silent and I just observe. This always makes me prone to the “why are you quiet ?” question, Which makes me appear weak or stuck in my own bubble and I honestly don’t know If this is true or not.
For example two days ago I was in a cafe with my cousins and my cousin’s friends and they were talking about politics and things I’m not interested in, They did they because they have nothing in common so the appropriate thing is to find any random topic to talk about, And I just sat there listening to them and saying nothing. Is is wrong ?
Should I break this bubble and talk about whatever with anybody or Is is just a character trait that I don’t necessarily need ? Because I’m loud as hell when I’m with my friends but completely silent in other situations and that confuses me.
4 comments
Don’t force yourself to talk but make sure you carry yourself confidently. If you know you don’t wanna talk then don’t. Just make sure that’s why sometimes fear can make people question themselves.
Me too Don’t fret over it.
There are plenty of people you can naturally engage
Yes actually, it’s a soft skill. Here’s what I’ve learned.
My mom is the queen of small talk. She also likes talking personally a lot to, but getting personal is not something you naturally start a conversation with, at least irl. Even for people who like to, it can be difficult if you’re not starting with something simple.
From what I’ve found, *her ability to small talk has helped her tremendously in getting into deep or personal conversations within the same minute, natural and enjoyably*.
So I’d say it’s a social skill, a very very useful one that can help you with chatting with the whole block. My dad’s side of the family is the same to a point that basically the whole town knows him. He’s extrovert but he doesn’t do all “stereotypical” extrovert things, he knows everyone from small talk alone.
Tl;dr: whether you like it or not, it’s a massive skill that will improve your social ability and making friends. Life progresses from small to big; Small talk to big talk.
Tip: don’t force it but actively practice it.
It isn’t “wrong” per se, but small talk is the first step toward a stronger connection. So that stance may keep you from developing stronger connections with people.