What is your worst unrequited crush experience?

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1. JTT never responded to my fan letters….

2. Nearly every girl I’ve ever had an interest in barely knew I exist.

3. We met when we were kids (9 or 10) and I instantly had a crush on him.
   I was a bit too shy to actually hang out with him so I just saw him at mutual friends parties and I would always try to be cool and think of ways to get his attention. People would say that he had crush on me too but I didn’t know what to think.

   We had different lives but I always kept him in the back of my mind. We had random conversations here and there and I romanticised the hell out of everything he did or said to me.

   Eventually, I turned 20 and sent him a message telling him how I felt and he was completely shocked and had no idea and said he just saw me as a friend.

   He handled it really well and was kind about it – it’s me who was the moron.

   I really lost a lot of self esteem because I felt like I had deluded myself that what I was feeling was mutual. Honestly since then, I don’t really trust if I feel like I have chemistry with a guy because I feel like I’m just deluding myself again.

   One time a guy asked me to come over to his house on a Saturday night so we could spend time alone together and I convinced myself that he just saw me as a friend and was shocked when he actually kissed me and said he liked me.

   I don’t know what the moral of it all is – but the only thing I took from it was that I can’t trust myself and that it’s better to assume that someone doesn’t like you.

4. I had very limited information about the person so my desire for them was based on probably like 1% of who they actually were. They also (again based on this limited information) were very different from any previous person I had ever wanted and this confused me, made me question what I thought were my “standards” even though I also felt unworthy of gaining their attention.

   It was a very physical experience. I felt physiologically thirsty, my cells, my skin were wracked with longing; I’d have to wrap sheets tightly around myself and wrestle with the impulse to reach out to them or try to find out more information about them. Every hour I was imagining often elaborate scenarios of meeting together alone.

   This interfered with my work, but also motivated me to rid myself of some unappealing parts of me. Definitely made me more sympathetic to those going through infatuation or love sickness even though what I experienced wasn’t love since I didn’t know enough about them.

   It wasn’t quite obsession but only because I fought with every fiber of my being to go through my day getting other shit done and trying to fill my head and emotions with more variety out of desperation to maintain my health as well as respecting this person’s privacy. The few ways they openly and publicly shared things about themselves with our small community I even stopped exploring or limited my review of to prevent obsession, but the battle took a lot out of me.