My boyfriend (37M) and I (29F) have been on and off for the past 6 months, we were together for 6 years. We broke up because he was never around, we lived together and he would always yell at me and put me down, finally I got sick of it and asked him to leave. We didn’t talk for a few months and recently tried working things out.
I used to have a pretty high sex drive however recently I am just very uninterested in sex with him. I’m just not as affectionate as I was before and it’s probably from years of him mistreating me.
Last night he woke me up asking me to turn off the bedroom light (I fell asleep watching tv). I woke up and shut it off, I’m not sure if he knew I was asleep or not when he asked. Then he proceeded to complain that I never kiss him, touch him or hold him. I said I’m tired and I really don’t want to hear it right now I’m sleeping.
He got up and started gathering all of his things saying I just don’t love him the way he loves me. I told him that’s fine he should leave if he expects sex from me because he’s not entitled to my body. I think he’s right and I’m just not in love with him anymore.
He is really convenient and I do enjoy spending time with him. I’m kind of sad it seems like he’s ending things this time because he wants more intimacy from me, I’m not not able to give that to him currently.
TL;DR
It does make me wonder though, was this all over sex? Did he get so upset because I was sleeping and didn’t want to have sex so he packed and left?
4 comments
I’m not clear on why you got back together with someone who you know is abusive. But it’s unsurprising that you don’t have warm, loving feelings for him. And it’s unsurprising that he feels like this isn’t working for him either. Your relationship is dead, so why are you trying to still have one with him? And if you got feelings back for him, what makes you think he wouldn’t go back to abusing you?
If he’s verbally abusive, why did you get back with him? It’s not a criticism, just a question.
It couldve been but I salute your courage to end things when you realize it no longer served you and not compromising that for fear of being alone or fear of the unknown. It is rare and you should be very proud of yourself.
It sounds like you’re over him as a partner. Do you think you could just be friends?