Firstly hey, I'm a male in mid 20s,
Firstly I'm terrible at knowing the signs from a girl about whether she's attracted to me, flirting with me or just being friendly.
I've been close friends with this girl for a few months now, we know everything about each other, we laugh and have very deep conversations. She's very open about her sexual life/history, wants/desires etc, I'm not, I'm very self conscious.
We have both been single for a few months after previous relationships with other people. We are open that we both want someone to love and be intimate with.
Recently, she suggested we get a hotel and cuddle and watch films as we both desire someone to hold and cuddle. I thought she was joking at first but now it's a thing we have booked and planned for.
We also expressed our interest in spooning, which then spiralled even further, discussing what level of clothing we were both comfortable wearing as well as what each other wore.
Now during all of this we are both saying it's not sexual, we are friends, that's it. It's innocent, nothing will happen.
I'm just so confused, at times she pushes the boundaries even further about what little she will wear as well as joking if we drink we might end up doing something. Sometimes it sounds like she's attracted to me and she's down for something sexual while we are together but other times it's a lot more mild mannered like, "youre not getting me naked", "we are just friends", "we ain't having sex".
I'm so bad at reading these messages and knowing what her intentions and thoughts are about is hooking up. My flirting game is awful honestly.
Do I buy condoms or not, I don't want to then if she sees them in my small suitcase get freaked out if she hasn't got those intentions.
I'm just so paranoid and trying to figure out the situation.
Thanks to any help
Have a good day 🙂