First of all hello i hope all of you are good. Also sorry for grammar mistakes english is not my first language. Me(23M) and my girlfriend(27F) are together for a year and live together since our relationship started. We had an arguement and i want some advice.
At 8AM I drove her to a job interview (because she didn’t want to drive 15-20kilometers and deal with parking. And im okay with it because i love to see her happy) and waited at her friends place untill she done. I picked her up and hanged out friend’s place untill 3PM then we both had things to do and when we finished we went home.
While we were driving home she said she will cook pasta for us and i said im okay with it. After that she said that she feel tired and told me to cook and i said im also tired if she is okay with it i can make toast for us and cook tomorrow night. After that she said she don’t want to eat toast. After, she said she don’t want to do cooking alone and i said okay i can hang out with you in the kitchen if she wants that way.
And boom she started to look sad and when i asked what’s wrong she said she expected me to offer her cook together. I said i was trying to say same thing while offering her to hang out with her in the kitchen and she said no you were talking about just hanging out not involving any help. I asked her if this been the case so far while she were cooking other times. She said no but she expected to me say that way. I said that im sorry for misunderstanding and of course i will help her. That’s where it snaps we both sat in silence untill we came home and talked again the issue, she said “i just want you to cook is it really hard to accept it because im tired”. I said im tired too and don’t want to cook today. Asked if she is okay with it i can cook for her tomorrow and for today i can make toast for us. She refused and said she is tired and going to sleep now and i said okay.
After that she blamed me for being okay in that kind of situation. She said that she always cook for us and never complain about it and expected same from me. I said i also do things for you and try to imply that we both do things for each other and it can be in different ways.(like driving her to somewhere when she wants even if it is not necessary to drop her because as i said i lovve making her happy) And tried to give example about this morning.
I was going to say“I drove you even it has no benefit for me because i love making you and seeing you happy” but when I said “I drove you even it has no benefit for me because…” she cut me right away and said that she is really angry with me and she doesn’t want to talk right now and stormed to our room while saying don’t come to room. I went to room and asked what’s wrong. She said thing i said was wrong and i said sorry for that and said that she cut me off and didn’t even finish my sentence.
After that she said she heard enough and continued crying. I went to talk with her again, and again i said that if i hurt her Im sorry but she refused to speak. Right now im sitting at balcony smoking and listening songs while thinking about our relationship in general :(. I always try to make her happy i always try to do thing the way she will feel comfortable and okay. but usually (not always) when she asks me to do something that i don’t want to do right now it turns into disaster. I ask you to please give me insight about that.
TL;DR!: We had an arguement with my gf and we had similiar kinds before and i am asking for advice.