I’ll be honest messaging girls and trying to hang out seems like an extremely energy costing effort. Out of 10 women I might get one after hours of messaging to say yes to a date. And then of them maybe half of them want to hang out again or make things more intimate.
I never thought I had high standards but what if half the women I’m swiping left on is just the best that I can do? I think I’m a pretty great catch but that’s just not showing up in my success rates. I might get 1-2 women a year.
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I think everyone needs to learn to lower their standards a little bit at some point, but there’s a limit. You don’t want to end up in a relationship with a woman you can’t have a stimulating conversation with, or who you’re not attracted to. Been there, done that. It sucks for both parties. But you also don’t have to hold out for 10s who have everything in common with you. Everything is a compromise.
Lots of experience and failure which led to lots of success in this realm. DM me!
It’s probably what you’re saying if you’re getting 1/10 after hours of messages
bro you are ahead of the game. I can’t even get them to talk to me. They swipe right but not even try to talk to me. I’ll even let them talk to whoever they find more attractive and interesting and give me a chance a few weeks later so I try my hand again just sitting there being second class citizen ass, but nothing man. they don’t even want me as the back burner guy
Tbh about my experience, nothing.
Never lower your DATING standards. Dating requires standards unless one wants to live in hell.
If standards are lowered for other reasons, just sex for instance(I don’t approve) remove them from the dating pool and into the fun pool.
Chlamydia
The problem with men who are good catches is that they have no fucking clue how to demonstrate that to a women. At the same time, women are not rational. As cringe as it is, you have to sell a fantasy to the girl with your profile.
Even those mediocre girls rejected me.
I tried that during the pandemic. Went on a few dates with a woman with three children from two different fathers who I didn’t even find attractive. I made the wise decision to end it. What was I thinking? I guess at the time I must have been lonely and dated her out of desperation. Luckily I came to my senses. That’s why you should never lower your dating standards. Have self worth!
I didnt lower my standards. I tried to improve myself. At some point i felt like i was fat for example so i went to the gym and ate better.
I tried to go out more when i was younger at a point in my life.
Be more comfortable with myself, you know, get confident, happy in my life. That one i did when i felt i couldnt get in the right mood.
I tried what i considered extreme at the time things when i realized i was insecured with my sexuality. Like saunas, libertines meet ups.
At thé beginning mostly i tried to see dating, love differently. Tried different approaches, tried.. kinda bullshit tips from the internet. Never paid for à dating coach, though i think i would have humbled myself if i thought it could help.
First goal was to get answers on websites, then à date, for irl, have easily à conversation, then à good conversation. It was more about goals ratier than objectively succeed in dating.
I never had just one website or dating apps, i used every one i knew off that was what i wanted. And i made sure to have good photos and description, asked from female friends, looked it up on internet.
I ate my fair share of shame, humiliation and frustration. Every time i digested it thinking it was on me, well improvements folowed. At some point i was consistant.
I was lucky though cause i was healthy of body and mind, i dont need medication doesnt have a mental health issue, and have a good looking face, just insecuritiy issues and was à bit fat, everything was under my control. Though girls never complimenter much about my face, but more smile or way of looking at them.
However i tried as much as i could to understand what i wanted and didnt And yeah i didnt bother with some of the girls around me, or profiles of girls, even though the frustration was tough sometimes. Last time i didnt respect that rule i ended up regretting it more than i made good memories.
It didnt help me much. The girls that were on my level rarely used dating apps. It doesnt matter how many other good qualities you have if your main one isnt eye catching good looks. I personally think its a waste, and it should just be used if you’re self improving (ex.working out) to gauge if you’re becoming more attractive.
Are you doing online dating? Online dating is shit. Those women talk to 100 guys, you will rarely win even if you are hot shit.
The time that I significantly lowered my standards, I actually had a good time. We were able to connect on an emotional level as we had a lot of common interests. The only issue was that after a month, I felt like a POS. I knew I wasn’t physically attracted to her but she was very much into me. I felt like I was stringing her along and ended up breaking things off; I felt like a massive dirtbag. However, it did teach me the importance of finding someone that is both physically and emotionally a match.
Never lowered my standards. I just got hotter.
I got skeeved out when I sobered up
I didn’t. The second you lower your standards is the second you invite yourself to a lifetime of regret, misery, and contempt. However, be realistic with your standards. Don’t pull the whole “chasing the unicorn” nonsense that some many people do. Every time I would see a woman with the “Unless your 6 ft +, make six figures a year, can take me traveling around the world, own your own car, house, and a vacation home, and can dedicate hours of every day to me, don’t bother talking to me” I would just bust out laughing at how bitter she’s making herself over her own decisions. Don’t be like that, be willing to compromise but don’t lower standards just because you’re lonely.
Yeah, I think that a lot of people have unrealistic expectations when dating, on both sides of the ball to be fair.
When I lowered my standards, lots more dates, lots more sex. It’s probably a confidence thing too. Because you aren’t thinking “she’s too hot for me” you are a lot more confident when talking to these women that you feel are a little lower than your standard.
If you think that you are lowering your standards then that is the reason you are not getting a response.
Get off those apps and go talk to some women.
I never lowered them. I may have changed priorities over time though. Different things have become more or less important to me. As I wanted and achieved more in life, as I got to know myself better, my ideals changed. Now I don’t care how hot she is if she’s not good for me in any other area of my life. Is that lowering my standards? Some might argue it is, and that’s fine. But I know the quality of woman I ended up with and I know how much my relationship has improved me and my life.
I didnt