I (28F) didn’t really notice this about myself until recently, but it’s become increasingly worrying to me – I don’t really think about anything. As in, my mind is kind of blank… all the time. I’m not sure when it started, or if I’ve always been like this.
I’ve started discussing it with friends and realized that I’m somewhat abnormal – I lack both an inner monologue, and the ability to “picture” things in my minds eye (aphantasia). Because of this, I kind of feel like I’m just living in a dream land – I don’t really have thoughts, so I just float through life.
I also worry that this is why my memory is so bad. I can remember basic feelings from times in my life, but because I can’t picture them, I can’t really remember most of my life. If I see a picture, I remember it vaguely, but not with the clarity that others seem to remember their life moments.
Anyways, all of this to say that I’m also worried as to how it’s affecting me socially. I used to be creative – now I feel as though I can’t produce a single original thought that might be interesting to others, and thus am struggling to make new friends. Anyone have any ideas, or similar experiences?