My husband always told me that before we were dating, he never really got any attention from girls and was always the silent, introverted nerd guy in the room. He wasn't dressing particularly well, he didn't pay attention to his hair and overall style, it didn't bother him. He just knew he is not the type to attract girls cause he is not hot. On the contrary, I was the hot girl in every friend group we were in, and was getting a lot of attention from everyone. After we got married he told me he is very happy that he could "win" me. I was laughing those comments off, just not acknowledging that I was "that kind of huge thing" to "win". Anyway we both love each other madly and I spent years(6years or marriage) to constantly reassuring him that he is a gem, everyone would be lucky to know him, trying raising his self esteem as if it was my 2rd part time job. I never had a lack of attention in any group and I was constantly trying to bring him in to new friend groups to socialize more. He just didn't believe he can be interesting to anyone and vice versa, didn't even like the idea of meeting new people.
Until last year. He lost weight, did a corrective vision surgery, removed glasses. Made a new haircut and finally took my advice on wearing suits on many occasions – or smart casual, after seeing my reaction on the men in films who were dressed well. Since then he began to like himself in his new style, he never looked like the nerdy introvert guy anymore. He began to actively socialize with people. I was over the moon!!!
Right now for over a year we are close friends with 2 couples, the girl in one is my best friend from school( let's call he Amy). Since he changed, she pays a lot of attention to him(before he was invisible to her), when we are together in our friend group, she forgets that I also exist, all the jokes, themes, discussions evolve around him. And he is so sweet and nice to her as he is to everyone. I smile seeing him blossom in relationships, but I recently started feeling insecure in our closest friend groups. Being all my life in the center of attention in every place, and being basically invisible now is a very new thing for me and I hate myself that I'm even feeling this now, because I wanted him to be like this sooo much. And now I don't even know what I'm more sad/upset about – feeling like I lost the role of the main entertainer or seeing that other girls are basically FLIRTING with him and he cherishes the feeling of being liked(although does nothing wrong towards me, doesn't answer with flirting)?
I'm lost and I see every day how he likes being very active on group chats, entertain people and even sometimes choose to spend time in their company together with me as opposed to chilling with me at home(which he totally preferred for 6 and more years). After 2 or 3 incidents, where Amy basically snatched him from me during our double dates by being flirty/touchy, spending the whole evening talking with him while me and her husband we sitting like we weren't there, we had some conversations at home where I told my husband that I didn't like Amy's behaviour and reassured that he didn't do anything wrong. He assured me he didnt notice anything strange which I believed. Then those long talks about my feelings ended up leaving some marks and he tried to tell me he gets this uneasy feeling when meeting with them after what I said. Last night we had a fight when we were watching a movie at home and he was typing on the group chat half of the time. When I confronted him he told me I'm trying to be a controlling wife, and he does not like that. I am the girl that never experienced jealousy/envy and hates controlling people.
What do I do to understand my feeling and not build anger against Amy and not ruin our friendship? And not to fight with my husband. I'm desperate and I don't even know if this post makes sense as I'm typing it in the middle of the night, slightly drunk.Every comment is appreciated.
TLDR; my husband was the average geek with no attention from opposite sex and now he changed and gets all the attention + flirting from my friend groups while I get none(it used to be visa versa) we love each other, I adore new him, but I feel insecure, what do I do?