Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have been struggling with the idea of telling her for a while.
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 5 months. Even though it has not been that long, our relationship has been very solid and we have never had a real argument. I have been dealing with a porn addiction for most of my life, that began at a young age before I even knew what porn or sex really was. As I began to watch more and more graphic things, i eventually found that some people, on places like reddit, would masturbate to social media handles of girls they know and share their pictures. I eventually started doing the same with some girls i knew. I knew it was wrong, but struggled to find myself able to stop for sometime. I vowed before ever entering a relationship that I would stop, as it would be incredibly disrespectful and unfair to my partner. I met my soon to be girlfriend and was able to stop using porn altogether for the longest time in maybe 7 years. Unfortunately, after we started dating I had gone back to porn and using girls i knew every now and then. Even when in the act, i felt that i wasn't really enjoying it, and it was a cop out for my brain to get some dopamine. I have been free from use for a few weeks now and feel good. I have been doing online therapy and a ton of self-reflection.
My girlfriend has been out of the country on a trip for a few weeks, where she doesn't have service and we have been out of communication. I have been planning to tell her when she gets back, as i feel she deserves to know. I have told her i have a porn addiction that i am working very hard on trying to stop, but she doesn't know the extent of it.
Is this something i should even let her know about? Especially if i have committed to not going back to my old ways and done many things to prevent it from happening again, while also bettering myself. This is one of the hardest decisions of my life, as i love this girl very much, and any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
TLDR: I have struggled with a porn addiction and looking at girl's instas for years before meeting my gf. She knows about the porn addiction, but not looking at social medias. I have done a lot of work to stop this addiction in recent months. Is this something she deserves to know?