Ok,
So I work with majority of women who’s need for attention, validation and the emotional labor of others…is extremely high. Some of them, though they too—aggressively fight to dominate a conversation, aren’t as bad as the others in that I can understand as well as relate to what they are saying and…they can be at times, moderately entertaining. lol
One of these individuals has a tendency to state this claim quite often: “I know I talk a lot, just tell me to shut up! 😆 I won’t be offended!”
I’ve have heard this statement and variations of it many, many, times before by individuals who lack self-regulation/control when it comes to communication and overall socialization with others…
Why does someone else need to tell you…to stop talking? And really, you wouldn’t get offended? Really…😑
Me talking doesn’t stop you, me not initiating conversation with you…doesn’t stop nor deter you, walking away doesn’t deter you so why would me telling you (relatively speaking) to shut TF up!…stop you?
And what makes you think I want that responsibility/burden of regulating you thinking out loud? cause it’s not talking let alone a conversation, it’s literally thinking out loud with the expectation (or worse, entitlement) that others will pay attention…
Now I am aware that, oftentimes, individuals who are intrusive, invasive, domineering, unsolicited, interrupting, over talking communicators…do so as silence is a discomforting feeling. (possibly due to trauma or not—either way it has to be working as they continue to do it and it hasn’t impacted them enough to where they stop! or get help to address the root issue).
We all desire to connect, belong, be welcomed and wanted by others…HOWEVER, such needs, should not cross someone else’s boundaries, autonomy and consent. Everyone is not going to like us and everyone…is not indebted to giving us their attention whenever and however we want it.
One thing I don’t judge is others thinking out loud (talking to themselves) cause if you have to hear it for it to make sense…do what works for you just…don’t subject me to it.
And…just because someone is silent…doesn’t mean dialogue isn’t taking place as it is internal. someone’s else’s silence…isn’t your (relatively speaking) space to fill…
So, has an overly talkative person told you to tell them to be quiet? What do you think of that? How did you handle it? Or…have YOU told someone to tell you when to stop talking because if not, you’ll just keep going! lol Have you been told to zip it? lol Did you? Were you offended?
👂…
✌️