Feeling alone and controlled in my marriage
I have been married 3 years, we had a lockdown wedding which more suited him as he is abit of an introvert and i am an extrovert.
He oversees all and makes in most cases all the decisions. He works a 9-5 at the hospital his job is very busy but when he returns home he just goes on his PC until dinner then comes down eats dinner then goes back up he doesnt xlear his table space or anything, most times he is on his phone at the table. We have 2 children which he hardly takes an interest in such as asking how the day was at school as them about how thier clubs are going. He inky spends time with your youngest whom is 5 if it involves playing a computer game. Other then that it is just the odd taking out to the park. He doesnt spend any time with our eldest whom is 10.
He doesnt ask how my day is or helps at all with housechold chores despite i work during the school hours, i do the school runs, cleaning, erands around town etc but still expected to upkeep everything to a high standard. He complains about the 1 thing i hadnt bwen able to do that day despite the bathroom would of been fully bleached and todyed etc he doesnt appreciate it just moans on the jobs i hadnt done. He never compliments me but happy to say i am fat i am only 9st 6. Now attending slimming World as i feel unatrractive aswell as alone. He made sure i changed my milk from blue to freen as he said it will help with the wieght loss, he talks me down if i have 1 biscuit with a cuppa. I have lost 1/2 stone so far and i was so happy to show him that i have and he said well at least its working just got to loose the rest. Which hurt me.
My family live 5h away, i do not socialise much due to family life in general. I dont think he has even changed the bin 1 since we moved. If a bin is full and i am work he will message me saying bin is full where am i suppose to put my rubbish, which i state he is capable of changing a bin etc but he utterly refuses and just puts his rubbish on the side so when i return home i have to deal with it. Im not needing him to clean the whole house in 1 day like he expects me to or hell every day but helping now and then or just emptying the dishwasher when its finished and reloading if it needs it or clean down the sides or change the bin when needs to would be of help and aplreciated.
I always ask how is day is, about what ever game he is playing or researching etc. But he just says im to stupid to understand etc.
He monitors me financially so even if i go to the shop to get milk or bread for instance he messages me what was the £x.xx for. I take children out and as sokn as he comes home he says what was £x.xx for and i reply well if you asked how our day was you would of foud out that me and children went to the park for a picnic or to the beach and had ice cream or something they had a playdate and had lunch out. Its just facts and figures and never any general conversation.
We could be in a car journey for 1h and 30min and he would not say 1 word to me. I am the sole driver so i do all the driving for our household and i have to make sure to drive him to and from wherere and when ever he wants.
I have told him how he makes me feel and he said its all in my head and i have issues. Does anyone else experience anything similar to this?