Some background info: we have been dating since 2020 but were best friends for a year before that. We got an apartment together in 2021 (his idea) but he didn’t move in until a year later (I didn’t know this was his plan until after I moved in). His sister has known we were dating since the end of last year but no one else in his family knows. I have met his parents a few times but as a friend. I have told him on numerous occasions I want his family to know about us.
This seems like I should obviously break up with him right?
I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD and OCD. I take medication for anxiety and see a therapist maybe once every two months (costs so much money). I have a very hard time trusting my instincts. I also am no contact with my parents and family is not something that has ever had immense value in my life. It’s only me and my two brothers, but we’re all very independent from each other and always have been. So, it is difficult for me to understand families in general.
My BF is from a very religious Mexican family. They are all very close and do everything and anything for each other. He still drops plans with me to help them. No living together before marriage. Obviously no sex. His mom wants him to marry someone in their culture and I am the opposite of that. I grew up in the same religion but have been agnostic from a young age. My BF knows I will never be religious again.
I have tried to be understanding. I’ve given him so much time to tell his parents about me, I’ve ignored my instincts and anxieties about it. But this year I’ve found myself giving less of AF. I’ve been taking Prozac since September and I’ve found it’s made me a lot more clear headed.
I wish he would’ve done something about it, because he is an incredible man outside of this.
I feel like I’ve held on for so long because love has been something I’ve been missing my whole life. And it just felt so comforting and so whole. And I feel like anytime I got upset about him skipping plans with me to see his family, or him spending holidays with them instead of me fully knowing I would be spending it alone, I felt crazy. I felt so crazy and irrational.
I feel like I know what I need to do, I just need reassurance and validation. Or if I am acting irrational please tell me.
TL;DR my BF of 4 years still hasn’t told his parents about us and I need reassurance or to be told I am acting irrational.
💕
Update: thank you everyone for your words of validation and encouragement. I am going to speak with BF tomorrow when we both have the evening off. I’ve known I deserve more and different than what I’ve been receiving for a long time but have put that aside while focusing on my mental health. It was easy to just assume this is what I deserve. Thank you again.