How long can you personally stay angry with another person?

39 comments

1. All my life.

   I may not recognise that anger and it may not show itself, but it’s there, hidden in what psychologists call the unconscious.

   I feel it toward mostly all my family and most especially, myself.

2. If I felt disrespected, voiced it and the other person never apologized, hell yeah I will stay mad at this person.

3. I get over being annoyed or irked with someone pretty fast. I almost never get angry – it happens every couple of years if that. But when I do get angry, it can last a long time.

4. Depends on what they have done. My older sister is awful. For example, she pretended to overdose on her own daughters 30 birthday. However, managed a successful attempt as her medication boxes changed colour. This is the least damaging thing she has done. It’s been 5 years since she died, and if she was buried, I would dig her up now to rip her limb from limb to feel better.

5. About an hour. I’m too lazy to feel that strongly for so long.

6. It depends on the person. If it’s my husband or one of the kids, I’ll get over it in a few minutes. For everyone else, I’m petty so I could go years if need be.

7. I let go of things easy. Life is too short to hold grudges. And I personally believe it’s unhealthy to not forgive. I’m not perfect and so is another human being. But I maintain distance. Forgive but don’t forget is my motto usually.

8. About a few hours to a week. But now if they did something that crosses my boundaries, i silently cut them off. I recently learned i give too many chances and forgive too much for my own good.

9. Honestly? Depends on what they’ve done to make me angry, which itself is a very hard thing to accomplish with me. Usually, I’ll only be angry for a day, max, but if it was more serious, damaging bullshit it’ll take me a good couple months or so.

10. Depends on what they’ve done. Sometimes it can last all my life

11. It depends. If it’s small-medium thing I’m angry about, just gimme a few hours to distance myself from it.

    If it’s total betrayal—forever.

12. 20 years, and counting

13. For me, anger fades into indifference pretty quickly. And I find that’s more irritating to the other party than anger lol

14. About an hour then it just gives me anxiety so I convert it to disappointment

15. Forever and not very long ago the same time.

    There are people that I will probably have a deep down anger for the rest of my life, but that doesn’t mean I’m angry with them on the day to day. If that makes sense. I tend to get over the day to day anger very fast.

16. There’s only one person I am still angry at years later and it’s because I had to work with her for a year, she treated me like garbage (literally called me the “idiot” to people we worked with) and was 2x my age, a mother of 2 grown daughters. Like, the most vindictive human being I’ve ever met. All because I replaced her friend as her counterpart (she literally tried to get my fired the first week so her friend could stay rather than be transferred).

    No one has ever treated me that horribly over and over again. It got to the point where other coworkers would report it to our boss and HR (who ultimately did nothing). I’d bring it up with her and ask her to talk to me if she’s having any issues so we could work through them and she’d play dumb.

    I ended up leaving her with a shit load of my work and not telling her about my leaving until the moment I left. She was so pissed and it made my day lol, especially because she hated working there and wanted to leave after her friend left. I was told her friend wasn’t able to replace me and instead they brought someone else in who she equally hated 🙃

    I’m still not over it. And this is coming from someone who has been sexually abused.

    Fuck you, Patty.

17. I can hold on to that shit until the day I die.

18. My whole life.

19. I rarely get angry, but if someone disrespects me or really hurts me, I can recall that pain long after it happened.

    I don’t really get and stay mad at people, it’s just more so that my brain shuts them out as if they don’t exist.

20. Forever, if it’s merited.

21. Like a day at most. Being forgetful also helps make me a “forgiving” person as I might just straight up forget about that bad thing you did to me.

22. Is the thing they did going to suddenly stop being anger-inducing? No. I don’t believe in forgiveness. I might not sit around and get boiling mad about it after a few years (or I might, as a treat) but it’s definitely “fuck you” forever.

23. I feel it intensely for no more than a half hour, and then I start examining the situation to understand the other person’s perspective. If I conclude that the other person’s behavior was a symptom of a bigger issue, I usually store that anger away for later consumption when I need motivation to set strong boundaries. If I conclude that I can let it go and move on with little to no consequence to myself, then it’s over and done with.

24. Oh, forever and ever and ever, if the reason is big enough.

    Which I actually do not like at all. Holding on to anger is like holding on to a smoldering piece of coal: the only person it hurts is myself. I am really working on letting anger go.

25. It depends on what I’m angry about. It could be a few days, a few weeks, or a few months.

26. Truly experiencing and feeling active anger? I’m not sure. It’s not something I try to maintain as it’s pointless and wastes my time and energy. After my initial anger, I may feel sad, disappointed, distant, betrayed, or simply indifferent, detached, and removed, but active anger isn’t something I indulge in for long without moving on to addressing it in a way that is meaningful and effective for me. Anger is primarily valuable to me as motivation for change and improvement of my situation, so my next steps are to address it and correct the cause. Sitting around being angry doesn’t offer me anything useful.

27. If they intentionally and knowingly hurt my kids (even emotionally), it can last forever. I will never see them the same again.

28. so far, 15 years and counting and the person is not even alive anymore.

29. Until I die, I assume. 🤔🫡

30. It depends. If this person really affects my whole life the way he/she made a mistake, that’s would be until I die I guess but nonetheless I forgive a lot but never forgets it. That’s what it is.

31. My family always said I’m known for being able to hold a grudge forever. The older I get, the less I consider it a grudge. I move on from things a little TOO quick depending on if there’s changed behavior and a genuine apology or not.
    But, I can also cut you out of my life permanently without thinking twice. I’m not angry at that point, I just have no interest in keeping that person in my life. I don’t speak to any of my siblings anymore because they’ve burned me too many times, and I can go the rest of my life without ever speaking to them again.

32. For life

33. Honestly forever.. but I think the anger is there to remind myself to be done with someone.. I forget very easily but if someone has wronged me and I can’t find it within myself to compromise my morals to try to make it work then I’m done.. it takes a lot for me to get to that because I give people like 40 chances but then I’m like yeah I’m just being dumb if I forgive and forget again at this point.. I don’t even feel the need to explain myself on why I’m cutting them out because if they aren’t aware already then it’s a lost cause and I just ghost. I feel like that’s the only way to really be done.

34. Forever I think.

35. I don’t get mad. It takes a lot for me, I get disappointed usually. If someone REALLY pushes me over the edge it’s usually because they’re being ridiculous and it almost makes me laugh out of spite. Lol. But overall I don’t hold grudges, life is too short.

36. I’ve forgiven my mother but I haven’t forgotten, nor will I let go of this underlying anger. I think anger has helped me survive, for as long as I have. Especially during difficult times.

    It has been twelve years now. 😅

37. You don’t want to be on my bad side ! I’m a very cruel and heartless person.. Given the chance. I have no problem looking at people and pretending they don’t exist !

38. I definitely know how to hold a grudge.

39. I’ve been going on about 4 years strong with my sister and don’t see it changing anytime soon, I haven’t talked to her or even wanted to be around her in many many years… Most people say that she is blood and I need to just suck it up and move on but it’s been so hard for me, especially because I gave her so many chances to better her self and it never happened… I supported her through the hardest times in her life. Gave her a place to stay, Food to eat, Someone who she could talk too, Got her jobs and pushed her to see a therapist… Until she used me for what I had and stole a bunch of shit from my house and moved out… Blood ain’t shit…