My (20’s f) Boyfriend (20’s m) of 7 years sent someone nudes in 2020. I was on snap chat cross referencing notes for a final coming up with a class mate. snap chat gave me a list of people they recommend to add one being my boyfriend, but my boyfriend doesn’t have Snapchat or so I thought. He uses the same password for everything so I logged into the account and saw 2 nudes a photo and a video of his d*ck. I never received these and downloaded his snap data which showed he only ever had one account added an his accounts snap score was 8. I reached out and this girl told me he was telling everyone he was single and bad mouthing me and that after a month or so of friendship he made that account & they exchanged nude photos. According to her he wanted revenge because I sent photos to someone while we where broken up for a month but he did this after we got back together but he regrets it told her it was a mistake and cut her off the same day. I’m honestly devastated, I’ve been crying for days. He’s made multiple accounts to contact me and beg for forgiveness in tears and sent a huge bouquet of roses to my house, I’ve been blocking them all. The only situation like this to happen was about 5 years ago where he lied about having female friends and deleted all the chats with them but I found them on his mac that hadn’t updated (found out three years after the fact). It was dry innocent conversations so the lie was pointless. I just feel completely devastated he was my best friend and I don’t know what to do as I’ve gotten very mixed advice from friends family and my therapist. The fact he hid this for two years and I found this out by myself makes this 10x worse. He was my best friend helped me get out of a physically and sexually abusive grooming situation we have Coldplay tickets for June and plane tickets for august and he graduates next week.
Here’s the advice I’ve received so far.
Grandma: he’s a great guy and has done so much for you, what he did was very wrong but I don’t think it’s cheating I really hope you work it out with him
Therapist: he’s toxic manipulative and gaslighting you get a restraining order so he stops making accounts and sending stuff to your house
Friend(s) 1-4: he’s a ah and you deserve better don’t take him back
Friend(s) 5-6: give yourself time and see if you think his actually remorseful and willing to take the necessary steps to gain your trust
Friend 7: go to couples counseling
TLDR: My bf of 7 years sent a girl he met on Minecraft nudes two years ago I just found out (he didn’t tell me) and I don’t know what to do.
8 comments
So he wasted your time for years. It’s horrible and selfish. This is unforgivable and dangerous. He isn’t trustable. I think you need let this one go. Seriously if he’s willing to hide that and get revenge like that shit will only get worse and time from now if you’re even able to trust him and be happy and not a fantasy you will regret it in time. just because he spent a lot of years with you doesn’t mean he’s worth keeping. i would be absolutely livid. he cheated.
after you got back together. he cheated. even if what you did was upsetting to him you were NOT together. he violated your trust and relationship and bad mouthed you. it’s disgusting and immature, no one talks about or acts like that about someone they love. no excuses.who is with someone and bad mouths them? hiding their true self and feelings to you? it’s psychopathic if you ask me. put on a fake act to your partner while cheating and talking shit. you cant trust him at all. it’s not safe. clearly he’ll waste more time, sick fuck honestly.
i agree with the therapist. he’s a pos.
Ok idk who hurt all of y’all but I think the comments are pretty harsh. This happened two years ago and he did it after you sent nudes to someone when you were broken up. Have you considered that even if you were broken up… that it hurt him deeply? You two clearly still had feelings for each other so you got back together. I’d be salty too. He told the chick he sent the nudes to that he regretted it and didn’t tell you because he clearly regretted it and did not want to hurt you in the way you hurt him. This was in no way a physical encounter it was virtual. I’m not saying he was right, hell you are both wrong. But I say let the guy apologize. Accept his apology and make him earn your trust back. I don’t think dumping him is fair. Quite frankly you’re being a hypocrite.
If he did it once, he’ll do it again
>The only situation like this to happen was about 5 years ago where he lied about having female friends and deleted all the chats with them but I found them on his mac that hadn’t updated (found out three years after the fact). It was dry innocent conversations so the lie was pointless
Why can’t he have female friends?
You are young and you have so much life to live and love to give. Don’t waist your youth on somebody who looks for attention elsewhere. He decided to fuck around and now it’s your turn. Have fun and find somebody worth you time.
so you were being physically abused and groomed at 13 years old and he took advantage of your situation and basically hid things from you and cheated emotionally for seven years. sounds like you have codependency issues and need to leave
Don’t listen to your grandmother because she comes from a generation where getting beat by your husband was considered acceptable. This dude cheated on you or is going to. Your therapist is correct.