I mean, single, single. Not in a casual relationship, or a non committed one. Totally single. There is Nobody in a romantic sense.
To me, is to reflect back on the moments I shared with the person I was in love with, and that they won’t come back. Also, all of my friends have a partner. And I don’t. Sometimes loneliness
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I mean, i was single for about 10+ years. The hardest part is potentially accepting that you may live the rest of your life alone. I mean heck, i just dont put myself out there. Dropped facebook right after high school and never tried a dating app.
Just never having much joy in anything because I have no one to share anything with. No point in watching a movie without someone to discuss it, you know? Really no point in, like, having a job or my “shit together”, either, really. At this point I’m too old to get married or start a family, and I’ve never really had any goals or ambitions beyond those things, so I don’t really see a lot of point in much of anything. Just biding my time and counting the days, mostly.
For me it’s the loneliness. There are a lot of things that I always first hesitate to do because I don’t have anyone to share it with and then when I do it, I think about how nice it would be to share the memory with someone. I also miss intimacy, that’s the hardest over loneliness tbh.
It’s brutal my man, being all alone in this world without that support of a partner. The hardest part is just not having someone to vent to or someone who really cares about your day to day. It wears on you with time. The one good part about your situation is that you have an opportunity to really work on making yourself an awesome partner when the time comes! Be ready! Get in great shape, get your finances in order, get good at your job, know how to fix things around the house, have cool hobbies and in like 2 years just hit the dating scene hard.
I’ve been in med school and the army for the past 7 years so I’ve been hard to date. I have 4 years of residency coming up and am taking that time to get together some big savings, get that washboard torso back, and be ready for the next and hopefully final woman in my life at about 33 years of age.
It’s the loneliness.. i literally talk to no one. Ugh. It sucks.. I’m picky though. I can be in a relationship, but I choose not to be. I don’t want to settle. I know that God has someone great for me, so I’ll just be patient.. it can get lonely though especially seeing my friends in relationships, having kids, getting married… but I’ll just continue to trust God that one day it’ll be me
Them late night when you want the warmth of a women, the sooner you focus on your priorities and needs and realize everything I mean EVERYTHING is temporary you’ll find happiness and find love 🙂
For me it’s October. I want someone to watch horror movies with me.
Knowing that there might be something uniquely wrong with you.
It gnaws at your confidence/self esteem. Why me? Why am I to experience this type of pain? What am I doing wrong?
Even though I know there’s a lot of factors that go into why I’m single at 37 (some that aren’t my fault). Just bad strokes of luck, choosing the wrong people, my anxious attachment, etc.
You still wonder, “what’s wrong with me?”
But aside from dating I have my life totally together. (Good health, finances, home owner, in shape, decent social life)
The patience and frustration that comes with not having someone to be intimate with.
Guys, me a 32F live by a Spanish saying “mejor sola(o),que mal acompañada(o)” translating to “better alone, than in bad company” single 4 years, celibate roughly 2 years.
Our person is out there. Maybe iDeNtIfYiNg as something else, married to the wrong person, or in a psych ward 🤪🤪.
But really , it’s better to be alone than in a codependent toxic relationship or confusing hook up world.
Ya I think the biggest thing to your point is it leaves space to ruminate on your ex . Sometimes ya wonder if you “peaked” romantically/ will find someone like them.
Also like yes having sex can feel good, and definitely be very psychologically validating. Not having that can be a little sad .
Also being super single gives you space to ruminate more generally too— yes it is helpful to give you space to focus on other shit , but also gives you space to really ruminate on other areas where life is “ok “ but not “amazing “
Oh and as a dude it can feel like being super alone alone alone — like clocking in in the morning , doing some work, not rlly talking to anyone outside of work , going home and sleeping , rinse and repeat (I say as a dude since the reputation is a lot of girls confide in one another about their feelings and shit more )
I guess having to always fight your own battles . Of course it makes you alot more stronger personally .back then I just wanted to always date someone. The older I got the less I started to care .just take care of yourself .if something happens it’ll happen .just don’t wait around for it .Try to enjoy everyday like its your last single or not .life is too short to care .
Although I have good group friends to hang out and satisfied in terms of life… the hardest part is to cope with loneliness and reality.
My dream is to start a family with a guy i love… but i don’t feel I can achieve that dream anytime soon.
Been single for exactly 10 years now. Hardest part is isolation and loneliness most days. Spending that much time alone gives you a new appreciation when family stuff goes on or a friend comes into town though.
What’s also tough is I don’t really have a good group of friends where I live (I did, but they wrote me off for reasons that are unknown to me), so all I have right now for any potential are those stupid apps for dating. It feels more like instagram than it does dating.
Lonelines, especially around holiday 😞
For me, it’s watching other couples have the time of their lives together and trying not to envy what they have.
We’ll get there, though, God willing ✊️
I have no one to talk to. Not being able to say oh I know what a relationship is like. For example it’s summer now and the only people I’ve talked to really have been my parents because I don’t have anyone and am recovering from surgery so I can’t go out and meet people. Going out and meeting people has never lead to even a kiss so I’ve more or less lost hope
The only hard part is the lack of physical deep connection and intimacy that comes with a good romantic relationship. I can manage everything else and feeling like I’m not missing out: affection, deep conversations, emotional and spiritually connection…
Situationship was lonelier for me than being single single.
Seeing the people in r/relationshipadvice describing the most awful partner ever and asking if they should end it with them. It really makes me think that I have to be pretty damn lame if I’m losing to those kinds of people.
Having extra money, being completely in charge of my schedule, spread-eagling in my bed, watching the shows and movies I want to watch, no reminders not to leave the toilet seat up.
Those are some of the most horrific things I have to endure.
not having that one person who wants to know everything about your life, your day, your job, etc. yes friends know about my life but i miss having someone who knew everything to the point of sharing a bitchy email i got at work or something. no longer having that person who is just genuinely passionate about your life 🙁
One-way feelings. On the occasion I’ll meet a woman who I more than just like, she gets me excited and hopeful. Only to get rejected and a little heart-broken from it.
Being the third and fifth wheel with my friends. I know people, when we’re walking in our group, see me and go, “Oh yeah, that guy is clearly single,”
and a little bit of that just eats at me. but you know what I’m moving to a new city, so I’m hoping the environment switch up will bring on new luck and new love
I just have really low self-esteem. Usually my self-esteem and state of being is higher when I know someone likes me and I’m trying to work on this through therapy, but I just feel disgusting and ugly all the time. I haven’t looked at my reflection in the mirror in weeks. My general self-care routine does not exist anymore. Honestly I don’t remember last time I showered.
I’m alone all the time. I struggle making friends (i’m autistic which makes things worse). And I really would love to have friends, but somehow I scare people away or maybe people aren’t as interested in the things I have to say. They might think I’m boring. I’m not sure. Usually people will tell me the basic things talk to friends and family about my issues or rely on them for support. Again, friends don’t really exist. My family could care less about what I’m going through. I’m really just alone. So I think I feel better when someone cares about me because I feel more human again. I feel like I deserve a place on this planet because otherwise I don’t really understand why I’m still here.
Several things.
1. The isolation
2. The horrible and broad advice that’s always being given out like “Go on a rejection spree” or “Learn to love yourself first” or “Put yourself out there”
3. Constant rejections shattering your confidence and pride
4. Being unable to regain any confidence
5. Seeing guys that are shorter than you and fatter than you with girlfriends
6. Having no one to talk to or get help from
7. Not feeling like going out
8. Not feeling like approaching anyone
No one to share my happiness with. I think it’s not hard to find someone, but it’s super hard to find somebody to really care about you. If it’s the latter then I’d rather stay single.
Personally I was completely free of stress and and depression. The last relationship I had was in 2004 and I am totally fine with this fact. I was free from depression unhappiness stress and I didn’t feel like I had to entertain someone to keep their attention. If and when I had a sexual urge I would call an escort. I paid her to leave. And it was a mutual agreement. The ones I picked were not in slavery or trafficked. They were independent and enjoyed what they did. Unfortunately I ended up getting involved with someone a while ago and it has caused me nothing but emotional stress and nightmares. Sometimes I think women forget that there is another person involved in the situation. Just my perspective, not popular but my experience.
Mental stuff aside, I think owning or even applying for a loan for a house on a single wage would be rough.
loneliness. i feel like there isnt anyone to find comfort in and that makes me feel all alone. i also sometimes feel very different and misunderstood in my family and wish there was someone i could relate to. itd be nice to be in a relationship and essentially have a best friend i can hangout with all the time
The constant reminders that your single
As many others have said, the loneliness. I miss having that one person to talk to every day. And sure, I can do things on my own and enjoy it. But it’s never quite as fulfilling as doing it with a partner. And I have plenty of friends to talk to and do things with, but again, it’s not quite the same as a romantic partner. It’s like no matter what it is I’m doing, there’s a void that not even friends can fill.
Next to that, I’d say the lack of physical affection. I’m so starved for touch that I actually look forward to the goodbye hugs with friends and even let them linger with some close friends.
Broken record here, but loneliness is pretty brutal on mental health. I’ve (20m) never been in a relationship at all, but watching your friends all hang out with their girlfriends all the time, get engaged, some married already, makes you think there must be something wrong with you. I’m also the only person in my group of friends who isn’t or hasn’t been in a relationship.
I 23M hate being told “WhEn ThE tImE iS rIgHt” and “GoD kNoWs When YoUrE rEaDy”.
So most 15 year old girls already have boyfriends and the time is right for them, and God knows they are ready when they are 15 ish, but it’s not my time when I have all of my shit together?
Can’t stand that shit. How is someone who is dependent on their parents, still in high school, etc ready for a relationship and people having their shit together aren’t ready?
Emptiness. Knowing that I’ve wasted my formative years and am currently wasting my sexual prime by being alone. This lifestyle isn’t sustainable.
It sucks, and honestly suicide is the only hope I have of finding peace. I’m hoping once my parents pass away that I can pull the trigger.
You know when times are tough, and you need someone to have your back? Or you manage to do the impossible, and are eager to share your accomplishment, but have no one to share it with? How about feeling in a loving mood, but having no one to give that love too?
Yeah.. I think that’s loneliness mixed with a little lust lol
Loneliness.
I have a decent to good relationship with my mom. I work at a busy office and am doing another degree around lots of people. I have a solid group of about a dozen friends who have hung out in one form or another for almost a decade. It’s not a lack of general human connection.
But at the end of the night I still go to bed alone. I don’t get to flirt with someone in the kitchen making breakfast. I read alone on the couch rather than leaning against someone.
It’s the little things. And you can’t stop noticing them. All. The. Time.
(Sex would be fun too I guess, but actual emotional intimacy is such a huge hole)
There’s a lot of things a man can survive but loneliness is not one of them
Half the joy of a life victory is sharing it with someone who will be just as happy as you. When I got a new job recently with a huge raise, my mood turned sour really fast. Then I thought, if there’s no one to celebrate success with, did I even really succeed?