Hi,
I am sorry for everyone who was diagnosed with this terrible disease. My heart goes to all of you.
Please help me on how you see the best way to get out of a early stage relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with MS.
We 31M, 33F, started seeing each other in late october 2023, she already knew that something is wrong for the past 1,5 years (MRI with "black spots"), she was supposed to get that investigated for MS suspicion but she did not. When we fist met she had some sudden left eye vision loss, she did not say anything that might hint she might have MS. 3 weeks after that she had another MRI and she sent me the result where it was written that there are signs of "demyelinisation" advancement. Then i started doing some research and realised the MS might be true. She was scheduled for a spine tap, but a week before that I totally ghosted her saying that this is too much for me – it was a really hard thing to do for me, because i really liked this woman and i knew this is going to hurt her more, but I thought its like ripping of a band aid. January came and I started seeing someone else who was a total fluke and did not work out. Towards the end of March 33F started texting me random stuff (this guy on this poster looks like you, etc.), I was constantly sending likes to her stories, but with no intention, they were really good pictures.
I asked her at some point if she wants to come to another city with me to look at some furniture, but as friends, nothing more. All was ok, we got back home and she went to a party. Texted me asking to take her home because she had a couple of drinks (also smokes 1 pack a day), to which i responded yes and i took her home.
She asked me to stay with her a while, bottom line is that we were intimate (at which point i told her that this is toxic between us) and have been ever since then.
I enjoy spending time and talking to her a lot, but I really feel afraid because of MS, I hate this disease!!! I do not know how to break up with her and spend both of us some misery. I know for sure that i cannot commit to this and that I want "risk free" children. I know you never have any guarantee that you will be healthy and all that, but I cannot commit to being with someone that already is marked for life by MS, I really cant, this freaks me out a lot. She is asking me from time to time what is the matter, when she feels that my thoughts get me to (god i like this girl so much but i have to leave).
I am so sorry, I know you all have had your share of this as well, but please, try to be empathetic with my issue and help me take the best decision on how to discuss/explain my feelings and why we cannot be together.
Thank you a lot!