I’m sorry English is not my first language.
Me (23) and my husband (28) are together for 4 years, we were. We have a 2 year old and moved into our own house about a year ago.
Right from the start he was the best and sometimes worst partner. 9/10 times he was there for me unconditionally but 1/10 he prioritised soccer training over being there for the passing of my grandfather. He used to leave letter for me around the house and take me on dates, made surprises and did everything I could wish for.
What he never did was talking with me about problems, he tried but always tried to escape topics. I could never tell him how I fell without him feeling blamed. I could never say little things like “please remember to secure the knives so our child will not grab them” without him blaming me for whatever I did wrong in the past.
We had long discussions and long fights after I fell pregnant and couldn’t help with our household because I had a very complicated pragnancy. At about 20 weeks I was told that our son might have a terminal illness and I begged him to stay home from work for two days to support me and be there when the results would come. After two days of arguing he stayed. I told him throughout the pregnancy to inform himself, but he didn’t. During the birth he was there supported me but even with 3rd degree tear and a lot of lost blood he only stayed home for a week(in our country maternal and parternal leave is up to 14 months) him being angry with my failure in the household became more.
It was crazy because mostly he hold me while crying took care of me and our son but in certain situations he would let me down.
He can be the most handsome men but also cold as ice.
After 1,5 years at home a started my bachelors degree again and we moved into our house. I struggled a lot with studying and taking care of everything wich led to him doing a lot more in the house. Cooking, cleaning etc. he told me he wanted more help, but I realised that I’m reaching a point of nearly breaking. I told him to leave things for me and not be angry that it would take longer and said that the most important thing is not a perfect house but a the necessity’s for some time. He would always pressure me wich is really hard for me because of my ptbs. I know I should have tried harder.
Often I told him the way we are behaving with each other brakes me and I feel that the point will soon come where I need to leave. I told him I am hurt and want to be a team. I begged him to change. He could never be understanding in situations where he would not except my feeling because he was different. Only when he noticed he would feel the same. He set routes on how and when I should feel whatever. “When you can still walk and are not dead you can do xyz “ everytime I told him I needed time or space he begged me to stay. I didn’t want for some time but I slowly started to tear my walls down and stay.
Three weeks ago he then dumbed me. Even though 2 weeks prior we made plans for the future and spent a lot of money.
1 week he changed his mind everyday.
The following week he moved out without warning. And since then bully’s me and doesn’t care about a thing.
What can I do? I begged him, I cried. He is cold as ice and said horrible things. I don’t have family and it’s hard with my friends since he pressured me to move here where I don’t know a soul.