Tldr: I 25f am trying to set boundaries with my mom after she keeps walking into mine and my husbands house when she's not invited.
I'll try and keep the context as brief as possible I 25f am married to my husband 25m we got married when we were both 18 we both come from well off pretty religious families however , my mom is the most religious out of all of them . Me and my husband however have never really been that religious we mainly got married young as he proposed when we were 17 which was both of our dad's idea we wanted to be engaged for quite a long time but that didn't end up happening and we got married a week after my 18 and 4 weeks after my husbands 18th birthday. We had a pretty traditional ceremony both of our dad's paid for everything aswell as our house we moved into after we got married my mom was very happy with the wedding taking place as I was the first daughter to get married, once me and my husband moved in together is where the problems started .
My mom out of the blue a month after we got married showed up to our house not invited and let her self in. we were in the kitchen and had thought someone had broken in and my husband nearly hit her over the head with a frying pan rapunzel style we were highly confused as to how she got in turn-out that my dad gave her a key and never told us . She assured us that this would never happen again and she just wanted to see me as I wasn't answering my phone I told her to knock next time . This obviously didn't happen as if it had I wouldn't be writing this . She proceeded to show up un invited multiple times to our house over the next two years and on multiple occasions would come over simply to ask us why we weren't in church also on multiple occasions she would come over and mention we weren't good enough Christians due to us having no pictures of Jesus. We however thought that all this was due to us getting married young however these issues continued well after we got married and are still happening me and my husband have been married nearly 8 years have stable jobs I get it that we are younger than most but we live in an area where getting married young is pretty normal almost all the people I went to school with are married now so it's not a case of it just being us .
This went on for 2 years till we were around about 20 when we decided to change the locks . This didn't stop her . As she at some point stole the spare pair of keys which my dad had and would keep on inviting her self over . On multiple occasions she would let herself into our house and walk in on us having sex to which she would yell at us for committing sins . And I don't just mean she would walk into the house ,she on multiple occasions would have had to walk into our house walk up the stairs to our bedroom and go in and there was no way she couldn't hear us from outside .
She also since I was young constantly told me and my sisters that once we are married it's disrespectful to touch other men she yelled at me once for giving a man a handshake at an event . My husband does not care about this rule at all. However , my mom does she called me on my husbands 22 birthday as in a story my friend posted the waiter tapped me on the shoulder( I had brought a cake for my husband and the kitchen wanted to know when to bring it out) . My mom then proceeded to yell at me over the phone for disrespecting my husband .
Stuff like this has been going on for nearly 8 years of our marriage I'm sick my husband is sick of how she is acting however I have recently discovered that she does it to all my siblings that are also married so we made a plan and we all went over to her house and told her that she need to back off from our lives . She doesn't see it tgat way and now she has the family divided some belive she is right other belive us now I don't know what to do because she's still showing up at my house . Me and my husband are thinking about moving but we really don't want to as we love our house but we might have to if she doesn't leave us alone .
Sorry for any spelling grammar or formatting mistakes I'm on mobile and grammar is not my strong suit .
Any advice would be greatly appreciate