What’s something you used to believe about relationships, but no longer do?

15 comments
  1. That people never truly change. The most common example is cheating, but insert anything into “once _____, always ______•

    There are no hard stop ways to predict how a person will be in the future, and for me, everyone deserves a second chance. There might be some time necessary to recover before that second chance, but if they tell me they’ve changed, I’ll give them a shot to prove it.

    (Note that I am referring to “a second chance to be a part of my life.” Not necessarily at a romantic relationship.)

  2. That if it’s really true love, it’s always effortless.

    Stable, happy relationships take a lot of work and come under assault from all kinds of life issues that have nothing to do with the strength of the partnership. People will also naturally change over time, and it takes work to adjust together and allow each other to grow while remaining close. But just because love takes conscious effort to maintain, it doesn’t mean it isn’t good. I think the media and culture really screws with people and sells them an idea that you don’t need to work for love if it’s real; everything should fall into place, and loving someone should never be difficult. The reality is very different, but can be much more rewarding.

  3. That there is someone for everybody. Some people really thrive being single!

  4. That since they’re in a relationship, then it must be healthy.

    Nope.

    The amount of abuse that happens in relationships is astounding. Some of it is overt, some of it is very hard to spot.

  5. That you have to have trust before anything else. I personally feel attraction is the initial. Then mutual trust.

  6. That relationships are easy. They are not. They do require work , a lot of discipline, commitment and transparency. The only problem is when it starts feeling like a chore or it wears you out.

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