I had problems with my main account, so re-posted this as I need support from you:(

I am just very terrified now. I am 21 and had sex for the very first time with a a hpok up from Tinder. The guy was a commercial pilot that had a layover in my city. I knew it will be just sex, he said he only wants that and I wanted to lose my V card. He was handsome, tall and as many other women I love men in uniform. But although he was very nice and gentleman with me while we had our drinks at the bar of his hotel, he was very rough and hard on me. I didn't tell him to stop, as I didn't want him to know I am a virgin. I was ashamed of this. But I cried silently in darkness. He also said he cannot get hard without condom, that he hates condoms and I either do it without it or go back home. So I agreed.

There was bl0od on the sheets. He saw it when went to the bathroom and freaked out. He thought he hurt me and why I didn't tell him to slow down if I was in pain? I told him it was actually because I was a virgin and he freaked out even more and acted offended I didn't tell him

Now I feel like trash. I went to pharmacy and took a pill, the lady helped me. It's been hours since the sex. But it hurts pretty bad even know, especially my inner tights but also my insides and I feel a burning sensation when I go to bathroom.

He texted me to apologise for both, raising his voice at me and freaking out for me being a virgin. He said he just wanted to know and deserved to know. Also he begged me to go to pharmacy and buy a pill to prevent pregnancy. He was really pushy on this like I didn't know to do it. And after another 30 minutes he texted again to check if I done what he asked.

My main issue with which I need some support is that I feel bad for making him angry and I feel like a liar for not telling him I am a virgin. Also, I don't want him to laugh at me with his colleagues or friends