My gf has really bad jealousy over my ex because she was my first long distance relationship for me while I am her first "real" long distance relationship (she was in a previous one where they'd be long distance every couple months). Also because my mom is still friends with my ex on Facebook. She got a bad feeling about one of my friends and asked me if I could remove her from my social media. I said sure, this friend reached out to me on another app, to which I did a short reply and removed her there too. I did not tell my gf about this in the moment because I thought nothing of it, I handled business, and it only came up in a conversation months later and now she says she can't trust me because I hide things from her. I understand it was a small thing for me but very important for her, so I should've told her in the moment, but she won't let it go.
She came to visit me and she initially said she didn't want to go to places I've been to before with my ex but I assured her that she should because she is a tourist and I'd try to make it special for her. In every place we went she acted cold, pissed, didn't want to talk, and told me to leave her alone. After a couple attempts to warm her up I just left her alone because she did previously state that she wanted to do things alone, so I eventually believed her. Now she's really mad and blaming me for not making it special for her and she says she regrets coming, saying I don't make her feel special and that the entire trip was shit just because of those moments. Obviously that really hurts because I do things that should make her feel special: notes, date nights, flowers, future plans, jewelry, we make photo albums together, etc but she is focusing so heavily on the negative things that have happened.
I love this woman but it feels like she is mad at me about something all the time and she will be so cold and rude and make me talk about it with her, she will never come to me to discuss it, and won't take accountability or apologize for her behavior, it makes me wonder if I am too caring and loving and she feels like I will never leave. For example, I can tell she is mad so I ask if she wants to talk about it, she says no, so I do my thing, then she proceeds to hang up the phone and get super pissed, this gets drawn out for hours usually and WILL NOT get better unless I carry the conversation and it gets resolved somehow. I think she loves me too because if all of these problems are as a big of a deal as she makes them out to be, I don't know why she would stay if she wasn't in love with me, and she says she is going to go to therapy to work on her problems. It is odd because when she is angry things feel like they couldn't get any worse but when she is in a good mood we click so well, we have the same humor, she is kind, caring, lovely, supportive, hilarious, and generally the type of woman that any guy would want to be with. Things are usually so intense one way or another and I am totally not used to that, I am a guy that is always content and strive for stability.
This is all coming from a man's perspective and I am fully aware that I could do a better job at understanding that when sometimes when women say no it means yes or when they say leave me alone it means don't leave, and she could give her reasons on why she can't trust me and she doesn't feel special with me so take my post with a grain of salt. I hate seeing my girlfriend get so angry all the time, what would help in this situation?