The situation is actually more complicated than the title suggests. I would appreciate if you could read the whole post. And sorry this is a throwaway account for obvious reason.
A while ago, I applied to the position of waiting staff at a restaurant that is quite famous in the city. After sending in my CV, I was asked by the manager to attach a recent photo of myself. I reckoned this was not a common practice for employers to ask applicants for photos (at least in the UK where I'm based at), but I did so anyway because I was desperate for a job. However, I never heard back after sending in the photo. I sent a follow-up message a week after but there was no response either. They did not even let me know I was unsuccessful or anything, they simply withdrew all communications after seeing my photo.
This made me think that I was judged by my photo. I (22M) am ethnically East Asian and they are a bistro serving French cuisine, so I might have been judged by my ethnicity or my appearance. Of course it is equally likely that I was unsuccessful because my CV was not good enough. However, the first time I sent my CV (without photo), they responded to me and asked for a photo. The second time I sent my CV (with my photo attached), they didn't respond. The two CVs were the exact same except I included my photo in the latter. If they considered my CV not good enough, they wouldn't need to reply and ask me for a photo, would they?
Anyway, I forgot about that soon because I couldn't prove anything. However, a few days ago, a friend of mine (24F) told us in a gathering that she was going to work a trial shift at that restaurant. (P.S. I have told my friends that I felt discriminated by that restaurant before, and she was there on that occasion, but I don't know if she remembered that) She found the story funny to share with us because when she dropped her CV, the manager was rude and the first question they asked was "are you English?". My friend said no, she was from Poland. Upon hearing that, the manager immediately became super friendly and said they were from Poland as well. They then invited my friend for a long chat and offered her to work a trial shift later in the week. I was quite upset because her story made it a lot more likely that I was discriminated. Both of us are students in the same year, do the same course at university, and have a similar CV. But because we are of different ethnicities, the response we got were extremely different.
After I went home, I wanted to share this story on social media of the local community and recommend people against this restaurant. I asked my friend if she remembers the name of the manager, because I wanted to make sure they were the same person who asked to look at my photo. However, my friend said she doesn't remember, and if I need this information to make a complaint, please don't do that. Because the restaurant would know she told me about the situation, and it will affect her chance of getting a job there and she will have uncomfortable conversation with the manager the next time they meet. She also asked me not to make assumptions of why the manager offered her a trial shift, because people naturally get excited to see fellow countryman, or maybe the manager offered the chance because they liked their chat.
I told her I understood her concern and I was planning to post this restaurant on social media. I also said I wish she knows discrimination is a serious issue, and the difference in the treatment we got made it very likely that the manager was discriminatory at least to a certain extent. If she truly doesn't want me to talk about her part of the story, I will respect that, but I cannot promise I won't talk about my part of the story (although the lack of her part will make it less convincing to people). She read my message and did not reply. Is my response appropriate in your opinion? Am I overreacting or overthinking?
Thank you for reading the post. I hope you read the whole of it, but if you don't have the time, here's a TLDR below.
TLDR: Both my friend and I applied to work in a restaurant, but we were treated by the manager very differently, most likely because of our ethnicity/appearance. I asked my friend for more information because I wanted to post this restaurant on social media, but my friend asked me not to do it because it might affect her chance of getting a job there. I would like to know what is the most appropriate response in this situation.