Ive been dating this guy only for a couple of months and in the beginning I thought everything was so good. He is really good at touching me and give me orgasm, but since I cannot get orgasm from penetration alone I need him to touch me before or after penetration. For me sex is of course better if there’s a good balance between giving and receiving orgasm and I’d like to reach orgasm each time we have sex (for both of us).
I’ve asked him if he’s a pleaser or likes to be pleased more where he answered that he likes to please more. I’ve also mentioned that I don’t like him to stop touching me if I’m close to reach orgasm. But then he said “yes” with such a demotivating voice I said that it’s not like he has to do it, but his tone of voice turned me off. Then he tried touching me again, but at that point I completely lost motivation for sex.
I am confused about if my “take” on sex is too strict now? I don’t want to “force” him into touching me so I can reach orgasm, but I’m not used to feeling I have to force the guy to do this?
All my previous partners would always love to give me orgasm and fought very hard for that. And likewise the other way around I always try hard to make my partner reach orgasm, maybe even too much. I’ve been told before I am too focused on the orgasm part, but to me it just feels like it’s the natural “goal” of having sex? At least just trying to please the other, not having to “succeed” every time. But when I get the feeling my partner wants to please me as much as a want to please him, it turns me on more and makes me more satisfied indeed.