Yesterday, I (30F) found out my bf (33M) of 9 months has been texting 18 year old girls from his gym. I saw it on his phone when we were talking. He didn’t try to hide anything and acted like it was totally normal. I know he loves helping people and wants to be there for everyone but this seems very inappropriate to me. He is basically giving them relationship advice and assuring them that they are wonderful and need to be themselves.
He keeps telling me that nothing was ill intended. I want to believe him so bad but he told me he deleted the chat and her number once I told him I was uncomfortable about the situation. And for the cherry on top, he called her sweetheart in the text, which is what he calls me…
He says he is sorry and sees how inappropriate it was. But today he has turned off his phone location and I have not heard from him. He does struggle with mental health and I’m worried I may have pushed him into a dark place.
I suppose I’m asking if anyone has dealt with this before? Can any men chime in an assure me that this is purely platonic and not ill natured? Also how do we move on from this in a healthy way? I’m really struggling and need help.
TLDR: bf texting with 18 year old girl. Says it’s purely to help her with relationship problems. Everything has been deleted. Any advice?
Edit: this is a long distance relationship. Both families heavily involved due to our culture.