I can’t do dirty talk during sex

38 comments

1. What makes it so unbearable to you

2. Agree. Just shut and do it
   We can talk later 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

3. I’ll tell you what this boils down to and this is solely just to help you see what the problem is: low confidence. You may have a fear of saying the wrong thing and making your partner uncomfortable, or maybe you’ll stutter, or maybe you’ll say something that may stop the intimacy dead in its tracks.
   Build up your self confidence. Own your words proudly. If you can confidently say something that you know your partner would like to hear, say it but don’t say it blandly but rather seductively, either in a soft tone or an aggressive sexy tone. Now I promise you most definitely will say one or two things that in your head sounds right but afterwords your partner will say “Yeah when you said that one thing, please don’t say it again🙃” and then hey you learn and make a mental note to not say that one thing again.

   But again, build up your self confidence and also ask your partner what he/she would like to hear you say. Don’t be afraid of doing that because it’s better to ask about how to make things more enjoyable rather than not ask and make no progress at all at increasing both of your enjoyment meters.

   You got this, I believe in you OP👍

4. Well i feel awkward too but then my sex life is non existing so…idk

5. This reminds me of the time I asked my s/o to talk dirty to me and he started quoting the Scary Movie scene during it. “I’m gonna shit on these walls, fart in your mouth”

   Safe to say we died laughing. Never asked again. Lmao

6. No because I get it. My mind literally goes blank and I can’t think of anything to say.

   So what I did was practice. When you are having *alone time* pick one or two phrases and repeat them throughout the experience. Then when you get comfortable pick another phrase and start over. The first time pick simple easy things like “oh fuck” or “right there”

7. me either and i hate when i feel like there’s an expectation for me to talk. i’m not silent, i definitely make lots of noise and will say something here or there like “oh fuck” “right there” “yes” whatever but the last guy i dated full on talked to me the whole time like “i love the noises you make” “your body is perfect” “this dick is yours” etc and while i loved it i also didn’t like the expectation that i was supposed to say something back and it kind of brought me out of the moment sometimes thinking about what he would say cause i would overthink it lol.

8. it sounds silly and embarrassing at first – but the more you practice at it, the better you get and the more enjoyable it becomes. just be prepared to accidentally say some stupid things, and that’s a normal part of the learning process.

9. That’s sad

10. That’s all right; it’s not for everyone. I learned how to for a partner that liked it; used to be in a similar situation, but after I got over the hurdle I just became neutral about it. I don’t prefer it. I don’t not prefer it. I’m glad I learned, tho’, because I *do* like pleasing my partners.

    Just let them know you’re not into it, nbd. Dirty talk usually isn’t a deal-breaker for people as long as everyone’s still allowed to be vocal. Silent sex is a red flag, unless you’re trying to not get caught, lmao.

11. The fruit of my vas deferens yearns for your ample pubus

12. I can, but I better not hear the word, Daddy. Instant turn off. I have a loving father, and he comes to mind when I hear, or read the word, Daddy!!

13. Everyone has a relatively unique “sex voice”. It likely makes you uncomfortable because you aren’t doing yours, you are forcing something different. The best way I can describe it in words (which actually proved difficult); If you want to try finding yours, try just “letting yourself say what you actually wanted to instead of what you think they want to hear, in a tone that feels like it’s coming from your stomach, and let it roll off your tongue smoothly.”

    Or, just make normal sounds if you don’t care to talk, and let your hips talk for you.

14. I think it’s an auditory stimulant, some people get off more on other sensory than others.

15. A Fwb always talks but says the same thing over and over. “ oh fuck ya!, oh fuck ya….” I do like it though!

16. Me either, I just freeze. And it’s embarrassing.

17. Everyone is different and that’s the great part about dating. Clear communication is always the answer and being able to voice your needs, but also your boundaries to the other person, is part of getting to know someone. If you have more in common than differences your likely a match. In this case you know yourself, and IMO, it would be bad form to feel obligated to say something from an inauthentic place, if you didn’t like it and pretending could get old quick. While it might make the other person happy in the short, term, everyone’s time is valuable and you might as well just be honest on the deal breakers and what your needs are as well. Again look for that common ground.

18. Dirty talk in bed only happens when you’re in the moment.
    They are not scripted lines.

    If you’re partner is moaning then they must be having pleasure. So a “” u like that baby” kinda thing comes out..

    And with a good partner you might laugh at something you said later

19. Say them in the mirror so you can see, hear and practice them sometime. When you are alone of course.

20. its not for everyone. Although I don’t mind it, I prefer the moaning and other natural sounds of enjoying sex, not the nasty talk, maybe communicate that to whoever you are with, its not your thing and thats ok.

21. Same!!! I don’t know what it is but it kind of turns me off if I’m not 100% in the mood

22. Kidding? You’ve to 😭😭😂

23. That’s okay. I can’t sex during dirty talk.

24. I’m the opposite.  I sometimes tell/direct them what to say, with very specific instructions on precisely how to moan and even looks to give me.  I’ll ask them to show particular emotions in their eyes.  

    I mostly date kinky, submissive women, and they generally love this, it turns us both on 💕 

    I know this isn’t for everyone, you should of course find partners compatible with what works for you.  

25. That’s ok, it took me a long while too and I still feel self conscious. Just go basic. If it feels good say it and try to describe it. Let yourself moan. Tell him you love f*cking him. Tell him you love where he touches or a position. Tell him to grab your tits. And what’s said during sex is just talk, nothing more. It’s never discussed afterwards. If you screw up, say something goofy, laugh and go on. It’s the funny things when grin back on.

26. Yo, me too! I’m just like “please shut up” in my head. It just seems sort of weird and unnatural for me.

27. Can I b the one to teach u pretty please?

28. Yeah it’s dumb if its just dirty not if you make them feel dirty 

29. Same. Cringe.

30. It’s only cringe when sober.

31. Just do it ironically

32. Maybe some clean talk? “Oh baby, just imagine how that ceiling fan will look all dusted up. You’ll be begging to be on your back.”

    Edit: When she does notice the dust on the fan or that the ceiling needs painted, I don’t know to be offended or amazed she can multitask.

33. I talk too much during. I want them to know they’re doing q great job

34. It’s so cringe but it works so well on me which is annoying

35. So don’t do it?

36. You don’t have to.

    Let your body do the talking.

37. kinda same, I just wanna hear moans and groans not chit chatting.

38. What?! Y’all need to get into the dirty talk game! It’s a game changer and I swear by it 😉 It’s all about discovering what type of talk resonates with your partner. Some people enjoy explicit, ‘nasty’ talk, while others might respond better to affirmations and compliments. Take the time to communicate and find out what excites your man the most. It can bring a whole new level to the climax y’all!