This girl and I have been talking for about a month now, we’ve known each other for over a year but were never particularly close.
She’s very pretty, very intelligent, very passionate about the things that she loves. Generally, in person, we have a great time together. It’s not this unbelievable chemistry or click, but we enjoy each other’s company and find it to be very peaceful even if there’s no major connection.
I personally have never had a healthy relationship that didn’t have forced feelings. I have no idea how long I should wait for them to become established before deciding it’s a lost cause, so there’s a lot of anxiety over it for me. We both seem to be very good about communicating our feelings, so there’s no threat of forcing things to happen. We do what we feel is natural and comfortable. But I do not know how I feel about her 100%.
When I’m not talking to her for too long, I miss her, but when we do talk, it gets a little tiring and I want some space. So I get that space, and then I miss her again. Or alternatively I will get that space, and then want to tell her or show her something and I won’t have the self control to let it wait.
I know my expectations for us shouldn’t be super high after only a month of talking. We are very comfortable with each other physically and have had sexual encounters a few times, it never felt wrong or uncomfortable or awkward. (maybe not the best thing to do when we are only at the talking stage. But we are consenting adults who have treated each other with respect and care)
So our relationship is overall a mixed bag. When we’re together, we’re very comfortable, although it may get tiring near the end sometimes. Other times, it doesn’t. When we text for extended periods of time, it gets a little tense for me after a while.
How do I continue pursuing this? What’s the best way to increase the chances that we thrive and could develop into something really nice? On paper, she is perfect for me in many ways.