My partner is more satisfied when foreplaying

Hello! My partner and I are extremely sexually active for the past few months. But those times, she can't cum by me fingering her or having the deed. She's just cumming when she did it all by herself and there's just me waiting becaise she is not letting me to do it. She said to me that she is also turned on such hearing some foreplays… tho I tried, but she said that what I'm saying is cringe. Her cum spot is also is not on the clit nor inside, when I am fingering her, I have a hard time finding it. How can I make her cum? What should I do? Can you guys give me such phrases to become dominant in foreplaying to make her turned on?