I have been dating my boyfriend for more than 3 years now but have not told my family about it for a few reasons which I will explain below.
I love him very much and I truly believe he is the one for me. He always makes me feel appreciated, prioritise me and have been my biggest supporter throughout the years. I have met his family and they have been very loving and welcoming.
The reason why I have kept this from my parents is because there are a few requirements they expect before approving this man to date their daughter:
Social economic status – he is currently working for a chain restaurant with hopes to take over the business one day. He does not have an education level that is 'on the same level' as me – I say this because in my parents eyes, any potential son in law must have a university degree. (This is not a requirement for me personally because I see that he has a job and is not a bum that laze around all day.) Religion – I come from a religious Christian family. My boyfriend is a non believer, and I don't mind this either. But it is an important requirement to my family.
I am not making assumptions about my parents reaction and I know it is a big NO from them because 3 years ago I did tell my family about him. And after learning of his background and what he does for work, they freaked out and forced me to break up with him. I had to lie my way out of that situation. We never broke up because I could not let go of such a good man.
My boyfriend is understanding (his family too) and he does not want my family to cause me stress so he is okay with this. But there will come a time when we will take the next step in our relationship, and I will have to come clean.
I am keeping this secret to keep the peace and not cause my all parties stress and conflict. It could be a HUGE mess in the future, or maybe my family will be a little more open minded? Either ways, I am willing to fight for this relationship when the time comes.
Do I just tear off the bandaid and face the storm when I break the news? Or do I do it gently? I have no idea how to even go about this, knowing the stress and conflict this will cause to both my relationship with my boyfriend and my family.
TL;DR
I hid my relationship from my parents for over 3 years. I need advice on how to come clean (with the least possible damage).