Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1cyy4f6/lack_of_attraction_not_enough_timeinformation/?sort=new
So, folks, while I was feeling things out, he decided to break things off. After I posted we saw each other total of 4-5 more times. We were supposed to have another date tomorrow evening (cooking at his place, which was his suggestion last Tuesday when we last saw each other). Today I wake up to "good morning. can we have a phone call today?" message (we have never called each other before, only whatsapping). In my mind I was immediately thinking "this can be one of two things: either he wants to discuss tomorrow's night in detail (there was no follow-up after that suggestion on Tuesday) or he wants to break everything off". Boy was I right😂
anyway, he called around midday, basically saying that one of the things (me going back to my home country in the foreseeable future for undefined time, which I told him about on the first date) bothers him too much to continue seeing each other, especially because he already had developed feelings and he realised that keeping seeing each other would make him fall in love even stronger, therefore, it will be more painful to separate. Absolutely fair, I have zero qualms about that. What rubbed me the wrong way, though, was something he said shortly thereafter: "I had been contemplating, if I should tell you this in person or on the phone because I had no idea how you would react to that". To which I immediately spat out "Do you think I would have physically attacked you or made a scene in public?" No answer followed to this, but the conversation was generally calm. Sad, but not dramatic.
Now, my question is: does breaking things off in a situation like this, after 7-8 times, solicit a personal conversation or doing it by phone ok? because in my opinion, doing it on the phone is kinda … ungenerous? Like you like me so much that you have already developed feelings, you say you want to have children soon, yet are afraid to have a simple "let's break it off" conversation in person? I don't know, I find it somewhat … counter-intuitive?
So what do you think?
PS. told this story a colleague of mine, and she said "he did it on the phone? what's wrong with the people who cannot say this person-to-person? You should forget him right now!" I guess there is this opinion as well.