I (27F) have been seeing/in a situationship with a guy (27M). It has been 10 months. It started out as FWB, but we are genuine friends. I didn’t expect to fall so hard for him. We are currently long distance. It did not start that way. I am from Canada. He is from USA. He was going to school 30 minutes from the boarder. I lived close to the boarder. It worked. Now he lives about 4 hours away from me. After he graduated, he moved back to his parents house.
When we met (Tinder), he was in school. He told me he was open to a relationship, but he was in school and now he is studying for his program boards exam. He told me he doesn’t know where he will get a job or if he will stay in the same city so he doesn’t want to commit to anything. He wants to focus on his test first, then figure everything out afterward.
Is this just multi-tasking issues. Or should I take him for his word? I really like him. I would even go as far as to say I would want to marry this man and have his children. Do I wait it out and be patient?
However, aren’t people able to multi-task? So therefore, I figured it must be me. I must just not be enough for him to want to commit. What is he afraid of? I have friends who went through school, finding first jobs, etc. all with a committed partner. Why not commit now?
I communicated this. He didn’t want to let me walk. We went through a week no-contact. We both thought about what we want. We talked it out. We continued the “situationship.” We are mutually exclusive for sex and only talking to each other. He told me if I ever had sex with anyone else he would stop talking to me altogether.
I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but I ping-pong between the questions: Do I trust my gut and stay/wait it out? Or am I wasting my time?
It sucks when you want someone. They don’t want you. Tale as old as time, I know. But I just can’t bring myself to leave. I feel safe. He’s loyal. He treats me well. We facetime every night and fall asleep together. We have great communication. Great sexual chemistry. However, I’m starting to feel uneasy without the committment. I am unsure how to navigate. Has anyone been in similar situations?
It’s either him or I die alone I guess lol.
TL;DR: Situationship. I want committment. He is hesitating. He treats me as if I am his girlfriend. However, he wants to wait until his exam is done and he knows where he will live before he commits. I expressed I am down for all of him. I want it all. I need advice.