know him since middle school, we were practically 4lifers because our families know eachother and his dad and my dad are good friends. Yesterday we were in his living room and I tried like this shroom brownie for the first time and suddenly I had this urge to show myself to him and so did he?? š But we are from a fairly conservative household so we didnāt have real sex, he kind of hovered over me and we did kiss but we kept our hands to ourselves when we masturbated. In the moment it was kinda hot but looking back at it now Iām cringing so bad. Immediately left afterwards because Iām horrified and canāt look him in the eye anymore but Iāve been ignoring him since friday so what should I dooo should I keep ignoring him, laugh about it to make it not seem like a big deal, pretend it didnāt happen, help š§š»āāļø
thank you all sm for the thoughtful responses <3 I apologized about ignoring him, that Iām confused atm and that weāll have a proper conversation about it later. Gives me plenty of time to mentally prepare š„² (also yes Iām a girl!! this is not about two guys sorry for the misunderstanding)
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Are you a guy or a girl?
Laugh it off or at least act like it didnāt happen until youāre both ready to talk. It’s only awkward if you let it be. A lot of people have this fantasy so I wouldn’t be too hard on yourselves. Besides, he might be thinking that youāre holding it against him and it doesn’t seem like you are. If he misreads it he might be beating himself up about it.
ok so what did u think would happen
Was he also on shrooms?
In my teenage years I had sex with a close friend, she pretty much ran the other way and ignored my calls for a few days in school.
I finally got her to talk to me and I was shocked when she explained why she was avoiding me. She was afraid I would tell her it was a huge mistake and we should forget about everything and was more afraid of the unknown than knowing.
Anyway, we dated for a while, fooled around but decided we were better friends. She moved in our senior year and I havenāt spoken to her since then but it always stuck with me that I thought I had made her mad or hurt her and she was afraid I would want to ignore it and she liked me a lot and at the time feelings were mutual.
I feel so bad for kids of conservative / religious parents who stunt their kids by not giving them any tools to talk about sex.
Iāll promise you one thing: if you donāt talk to him about how youāre feeling, heās going to interpret your silence in the worst possible way he can think of. We tend to jump to āworst case scenarioā when given no information, especially when it comes to interpreting other peopleās thoughts and feelings.
Do you like him, are you attracted to him?
Youāre getting some pretty unhelpful responses so far.
You do not have to have your mind made on how you feel and what you want up to communicate with him. Right now he has been assuming the worst possible outcome is happening. Communicating that youāre confused is a completely valid thing to communicate.
Sex is a natural thing to want and enjoy. Full stop. Mind altering substances tend to lower our inhibitions and result in us acting in ways we may not otherwise act, often going after things that we naturally enjoy. This will always be true and itās a good lesson to learn young.
You didnāt ruin a friendship because you had a sexual experience. What will make or break your friendship is what you do and say NOW.
Learn to comfortably talk about sex. It is the single biggest thing you can do to ensure a lifeās time of good sexual experiences.
Good luck!
Thatās completely okay. If you feel awkward, communicate with each other, tell him how you have been after that. Silence will make it awkward and chances are everything will ruin on bad terms. If you were feeling good at that moment, tell him you were feeling good but now its been bad. Be confident with your words.
People experiment all the time lol. This is more common than you think. Itās just the religious trauma haunting you. There is no reason to feel weird if you both wanted to do it and you were into it. Itās really not a bad thing but you should probably talk about it.
So if we break this down, you both got high, you saw each other naked and watched each other masturbate. I think youāre right things will be a bit awkward going forward. But the best thing to do is be honest. Tell him you regret what happened because how it changes your friendship. Ask him if thereās any way to just let this thing that happened just be a thing in the past and you be friends with certain boundaries going forward.
You guys unlocked something you need to talk about
You guys just need to talk it out. You will be spending the rest of your lives being adults so the sooner you learn to deal with uncomfortable situations, including conversations about sexuality, the more you are ready for the real world. Who knows, maybe down the road you both can have a chuckle about that time you both ate shrooms.
Hopefully you look back on this later as a fun and crazy experience and don’t cringe quite as much! Definitely talk to him, but maybe do a pros and cons list first of your potential responses (e.g. yes I want to pursue something romantic or sexual versus no I do not), so that when you talk to him you have an idea of what you want. And also be open to his thoughts and feelings! I’m sure he’s got quite a few as well and would appreciate feeling heard and respected
You guys should have adult sex and then do it again if you like it and keep doing it until you don’t want to anymore.
Girls do this shit all the time and itās not weird.. you guys will be fine laugh it off
What ever you do, don’t keep ignoring him. That will just make things worse.
Talk to him in person, in a neutral location. A place you hang out normally with a certain degree of privacy.
Before that though, collect your thoughts about what happened and what you want. In a very honest way.
You can return to friends. The drugs make a very good YOLO excuse. However, if you think you’d potentially want to be more than friends, you need to be open about that. Because if you firmly shut that door now, it likely will remain shut for good.
And regret for what didn’t happen, that risk you didn’t take can eat at you for years.
I know that first hand. I had a crush on a long time friend, but never worked up the courage when she was single/available and looking. Worse, I was there when she first met her current, and very like last boyfriend she’s been happily dating for several years now.
Are you sure you donāt have a thing for him? I may be wrong, but I read that. I hope things work out whatever you choose.
Please update us after you talk to him!
Dang, I remember having thoughts like this. In ten years from now you will be looking back on this and chuckling.
Hahaha! This is completely normal. Just take him out for a beer and laugh about it!
This sounds like the kind of thing that happens with mushrooms. If a substance lowers your inhibitions, then obviously in the aftermath, your inhibitions are back, and you view yourself with those inhibitions.
Imagine you could travel back in time. You’re in the room, and you see yourself wacked out on shroom brownie. You tell your past self, what are you doing? Stop taking off your clothes….don’t do that! What is wrong with you!?
…your past self is simply not concerned about things like modesty, the future of your relationship with your friend, etc. Your past self was living in the moment and elementally enjoying sensation and connection. There was no plan, no sudden revelation of long-standing romantic interest…just like you said, an urge, and a lack of inhibition.
The urge to be naked and fool around like primal animal people seems to be fairly common with mushrooms. You should probably be more prepared, mentally, for any future trips you take – and strongly consider whether you want to buy that ticket again in the first place.
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