My flatmate says I am self-centered. She never actually said this AT ALL during the years we were together as a couple. It seems to be quite a new thing. She is the only one that says it. I ran it past other friends, and they said I am not self-centered. I asked my flatmate, and she said "well, they're not around you enough to see it", which is fair enough.
I don't want to be self-centered, and it is making me incredibly sad that she thinks like this.
I do try and tell her about my day, and what I am going through. She says my life is boring and that it is too focused on me.
I try and connect with her A LOT. Try and get her to answer questions. Even on Messenger (as I am out of the country right now), she'll ignore when I ask what she is up to, or how her day is. Like, flat out ignore it, and move the conversation toward something about me.
In person, I try to talk, and every conversation gets shut down with:
- This is boring
- (ignore), change subject.
- STOP BEING SO SELF-CENTERED
- I don't want to talk about that.
Then she complains I am talking about too many different things, despite her shutting down literally everything I try to say, so I default to talking about something related to me, since I can't get her to open up at all.
I try to connect, and we used to connect really well in the past. We did when she first moved in, but it is like she is starting to shut down.
Last night, she had a complete 'breakdown', and spammed me with messages mocking me and the way I talk. I mean, seriously angry mocking. I hadn't actually messaged her at that point, and this was in response to me asking about her.
We used to have deep conversations, where we would talk for hours and hours. She said we never did, and that I bore her. Then I ask her if she genuinely means that, and then she says "stop being self-centered", and it is very hard to establish anything.
I don't know how to stop being self-centered when the person I am talking to isn't opening up in the slightest.
She used to live with an autistic person (before she moved in with me, but after she was with me), and I don't know if that has contributed or something because, as I said, she is completely different from the past.