Sorry if wrong group
I need help…
Throwaway because not even Batman could beat this out of me. I am M23, about a year ago when I with my then gf (F22) something happened that I can’t get over. Her sex drive was higher than mine so she would initiate more than me. One time we didn’t have sex for 2 weeks, so I tried to initiate but she turned me down, when I asked her if there was something wrong, she told me there wasn’t and she has just been feeling tired. I stupidly asked
“have you not been enjoying it lately?”. She said “of course and that our sex was her favorite”. Me being happy with the answer let the conversation go than she follows up by saying “ you’re my favorite but you’re not the best dick I’ve ever had, and to girls there’s a difference to best sex and best dick, yours doesn’t have the curl up I like” I won’t lie hearing that hurt me more than I’ll ever like to admit and I tried my best to not show it but I couldn’t control my face I guess I was a bit shocked and she noticed and she started immediately apologizing and saying things like “idk why I said that I’m so sorry.” I played it cool , since I was the one who pushed the situation. I barely communicated over the next few days and she wanted to talk, we had a conversation that lead to an argument that lead to us breaking up. See I wanted to get over it but I couldn’t, I know I had no right to be upset but I was. Told her I couldn’t be happy in a relationship knowing I couldn’t satisfy her and didn’t want it to lead to her missing the guy or anything. I thought it was best for us to break up. Few days later I guess She wasn’t happy with my decision and asked to meet up idk why I did. She told me how she swears I satisfy her and she loves me and our sex. Etc etc I decided to get back together but this is where the problem starts. It was about 3 days later when we tried to have sex but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get my “member” up after 30 minutes we stopped, I was embarrassed. After that was 3 months of trying and failing , everytime she initiated I was afraid it would happen that I would turn her down on occasion. I also barely make any sex reference out of fear it’ll lead to sex. After about 4 months like that We broke up and even though she didn’t say it was that, I know it was the reason. I lost all self confidence in me and my member. Now months later I’m afraid to date again because I don’t want it to happen to them because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings What can I do?!? Everytime a woman shows interest I turn down advances because I’m afraid It lead to sex and I won’t be able to perform.
TL:DR- ex-gf admitted I wasn’t the best she been with
Has taken away my confidence in intimacy
Need advice