Married over 25 years and children are home for the summer from college. My children are on The Autism Spectrum and my husband and I may also be on the Spectrum. Non of us are good communicators, but I have been going to therapy and want to be better.
The situation that happened this morning: My daughter had a dermatology appointment, so I let her know that we would be leaving soon and she needs to get ready. She got frustrated, because she was in the middle of a game and it wasn‘t going the way she wanted. She started yelling and knocked over a chair. She realized her behavior wasn‘t appropriate and started to pick up the chair and tried to calm down. Meanwhile, my husband was staring over at the situation. My daughter felt he was judging her and asked him if he was going to call her names or stupid for getting mad. My daughter then curled up on the couch to calm herself down. My husband came over to her and kept asking her to give her a high five and she didn’t want to engage. I told him to let her be. My daughter said she didn‘t want him (her father) to make fun of her. My husband replied that he wasn’t making fun of her. She finally gave him a quick high five.
This is where I wonder if I should have let it go, but instead I told him that he does ridicule her when she has outbursts. He got all angry and said maybe he should just leave, because that is what everyone wants. I told him that is not what I said. He then replied that he was just trying to be a good father, but no one cares. Then he just left for work.
Thank you in advance for any input on the situation or any similar scenarios anyone else has experienced.