I [29M] started a new job back in March and instantly became friends with this cute girl [21F] I work with. Despite the age gap, I couldn’t help but develop a crush on her. She’s funny, kind, curious, and has a really adorable laugh. Since we started working together, I’ve been noticing some subtle and not-so-subtle signs of attraction from her. She’ll often hold eye contact with me for prolonged periods of time, will stand very close to me if we’re talking or generally in the same area, and seems very receptive to light touch. She seeks me out for advice and seems to find everything I say hilarious. Every interaction between us is warm and genuine. Granted, I’m a very attractive man. I’m 6’2, 185 lbs, I workout like a freak and I have long, wavy blonde hair. I get a lot of attention from women (and men) and I get told on a weekly basis that I’m “hot”. So it’s not out of the ordinary for someone to want to be in my presence.
Here’s where it gets complicated. A few weeks into my new job, I learn she has a boyfriend. So naturally I was a little disappointed but decided to just play it cool anyway, I mean she’s still my friend. However the flirting from her still continued. Fast forward to the end of last month when she tells me she’s planning on dumping him and moving to New York to be with her ex, who she believes is “the love of her life”. I told her not to do it, mostly out of my own jealousy but also because generally, moving somewhere for a partner isn’t the best idea, especially an ex-partner. She doesn’t listen to me and dumps her current boyfriend and begins talking to her ex long distance with plans on visiting him in July and moving in with him and his parents by the end of the year. According to her, they lived together for a few months before he moved to New York. They dated long distance for a few more months until he broke things off.
Here’s where it gets even more complicated. Last week at work she mentions she used to play tennis in high school, as did I. She asks if I wanted to play sometime, and I said yes. We met up last night and honestly had a great time. Even though it wasn’t implied, the night 100% felt like a date. I don’t believe she’s ever spent time with a coworker one on one. She even brought me a plate of homemade cookies. I mean come on. As this point, my crush has evolved into actual romantic feelings.
So what’s her deal? Does she just enjoy the attention from a good-looking guy and nothing further? Is she exploring her options out of possible hesitation for getting back with her ex? Part of me wants to distance myself from her, mostly because I find her situation dumb and confusing, but another part of me wants to see this through to the end. I’ve been playing it very nonchalant with her but idk how much longer I can keep up the facade. There’s no denying we have a connection, and I doubt she even knows my true feelings. I like her, and I want to tell her how I feel but there are so many repercussions that it doesn’t seem worth it.
What do you think, strangers on the internet?