Hi,
I'm F30 and the guy is M40. He is the leader of a club I volunteer at. We got chatting like 6 months ago, and would talk a lot. He isn't someone I would ever settle down with, but he was really nice and always wanted to make sure I was ok. I talked a lot about stuff going on in my life and his advice wasn't great (he's really awkward) but he did offer to listen.
Months later, he asked what I was looking for (I hate when guys ask this!!) and I said nothing as I'm not in the right place for anything serious right now. He agreed he wasn't either so we kept chatting the same. Then, long story short, we decided it would be fun to see each other. He said it had to be in secret (which was good for me because of my volunteering and I didn't want people knowing as I'm quite private and its a big club). But since this, everything seems to have changed. I fear he's also seeing someone else at the same time – which would be fine as this will never be serious, but his demeanour and everything has changed. It feels like he got what he wanted so he's bored now. (I never slept with him, we just kissed and got a bit handsy a couple times).
Now he doesn't ask how I am (which is quite upsetting because I thought he was still a friend). When I ask how he is, he gives me weird answers (not his usual responses) so I assume he's not ok. When I prod a bit further he either completely ignores me or makes me feel shit, like it's all in my head.
Sorry for the long explanation. But yes, I'd really like advice to try move on, because even thought it's not serious, I still feel a lot for him. Not in an infatuation (i dont think) but just as an important friend. I don't date much so maybe it's messing with my head. I just need to try forget about him so that I can stop feeling shit about myself, but I don't know how.