So, I (22f) have recently told my bestfriend (23m) that I will no longer be pursuing him, I’ll be pursuing myself. He and I thought it was best because he revealed that he didn’t love me and couldn’t give me the intimacy I craved because of it. Most of that intimacy is sexual. However, we both agreed that while I am working on myself, we would stay single so we can try and continue this down the road. The issue now is, I have been working on myself, finding out who I am. It is because of this I realized I am not okay with giving up kisses, hand holding, and cuddling (these are things he is not okay with regardless of whether he loves someone or not.) I would like to shut the door to the possibility of a relationship. The thing that terrifies me about doing that is I’m scared I don’t know how to be friends with him anymore. Does anyone have any advice how to be friends after the pursuit?
2 comments
Well you two obviously care about each other at least platonically. You sound like a woman who enjoys physical intimacy even if it’s just a hug. However you have to respect his boundaries. I’d advice you get that intimacy from someone else you’re close to. You can get hugs and stuff from other male friends or relatives. Or maybe even a pet.
Why would you (or he) want him to remain single is he’s expressed he doesn’t love you? Why would he agree to that? I don’t need answers, those are for you.
If you need to move on have 3-6 months NC and then meet up if you reckon you can do so without interrupting your progress.If he’s a decent guy he’ll understand that, you can’t keep seeing someone you feel deeply about and just switch your feelings, you need time and space.