My husband and I have been together many years. Through our marriage I tried to do as much I could for him as often as I can. It really got to the point where I thought I was spoiling him. It seemed every time he wanted something I would jump to get do it. For example when I was pregnant with our last child, we were laying in bed and he said he was hungry. So me his pregnant wife left our house close to midnight to go get him something to eat. Even for Christmas, he's dad gave each of us money. He asked if he could have my portion to but something he's amount didn't cover so I gave it to him. Or I just do my wifely duty of taking care of him when he's ill.
I bring this up because of course today is Father's Day and we did talk in advance what he wants to do. So yesterday the plan was to give him breakfast and I would pick up dinner from his favorite restaurant. Well at about 2 am Saturday morning he was having stomach issues and texted me nevermind on breakfast. So when I got up we didn't really do breakfast. We watched TV and I took a nap on the couch. By time lunch the kids were saying they're hungry. I woke up from my nap and my husband was like the kids are hungry and so am I. I told him he could go get lunch and didn't have to wait on me. He got mad saying he's working on Father's day and he wants to celebrate today and he doesn't think he should go get his own lunch especiallywhen i didn't do anything for breakfast. He said he knew he told me about his stomach but i could have still asked him. After that he hasn't really talked to me.
I get that it's Father's day and he wanted to be catered to. The only thing I wanted him to realize is despite what day it is I go out of my way for him. I try to do as often as I can for him. Practically every weekend for years I was the one making sure the kids get breakfast and him if depending on if neither of was working. And I always took care of lunch on the weekends. Even when working 2 jobs I would call him when I get off and ask if he wanted me to bring him anything. So the one time I'm tired if having to be the one to leave to get food he gets mad at me. And what's crazier is that his mom literally was paying for the lunch. All he had to do was go maybe 5 minutes away to pick it up. It's not like I was saying I wouldn't go pick up dinner. Which I didn't because he decided he was too mad to want it.
This morning I got up before him and made him breakfast. He gave it to our child and said he didn't have time to eat it. Before he left for work he said he didn't like how I talked to him and that he was expecting more. I just apologized. At that point I didn't want to say anything I mentioned he because I didn't want to invalidate his feelings. Honestly I'm questioning rather or not I should feel bad because I feel like I do so much and it goes unappreciated. The only thing that mattered to him was that he didn't need to do anything because of the holiday. Like most days when I do things for him it's like he feels he shouldn't acknowledge it because it's expected, but when I express how tires I am of doing it all then he says I don't think about him. Idk maybe I'm overreacting and I'm the AH.