For those who grew up privately educated, how are you doing these days and what kind of impact did it make to your life?

14 comments

1. My dad went to a private school and was pretty vehemently against his own kids going to one.

   Can’t speak for the kind of impact it had on him really because it’s impossible to know how he would’ve turned out had he not gone, but he and my mum (working class, grammar school educated) ended up on the same grad scheme after uni and were on similar wages before she went full time SAHM.

2. I think it gave me a lot of confidence and ambition. I think the only other thing is it also helped me think about what I wanted to do after school. Lots of ppl parents had professional jobs so it was helpful to ask around for first hand experience on jobs.

3. It was definitely a leg up. It means I know all sorts of people. Ditto spouse.

   I don’t believe most private schools should exist. I don’t believe the actual education is any better. You’re just paying to avoid poor people.

   We have sent our children to state schools.

4. I went to a private school (but because I got a scholarship – my parents couldn’t have afforded it otherwise). I suspect that had I gone to the local state school which was terrible (something like the equivalent of 1 GCSE pass per pupil and had a massive discipline problem) I’d have got very bored and dropped out – this is what had already happened to me at the state primary school, and what also happened to a friend who was also very bright and went to that school. Last time I saw him he was working on the checkout at the local supermarket. I’ve had a successful if slightly erratic career, and could certainly have afforded private education for kids if I’d had them at the right time.

   Your second is a hypothetical for me as my step-kids were already beyond school age when I got married, but I think I would take the same position as my parents, who passionately believed in state education (and were teachers at state schools) and wanted to make it work, but faced with a kid it just wasn’t working for were willing to go outside the system.

5. I once asked my dad. “Why did you send me there?” He said. “I was doing really well and I wanted to show off”

   I was a total drop out and left school without any friends. When everyone was looking at uni my teachers were saying “don’t worry about it”.

   I never went to uni. I just started working and today I have a really good job now and make a decent wage.

   I’m dyslexic. My friends today think I’m autistic. But im 40 so I wasn’t diagnosed back in the day. I just started working and worked my way into a career though luck ,timing and talent.

6. I’m a middle-ranking civil servant, more focused on my kids (additional needs).

   My schooling was mostly paid for by dad’s work and scholarships. I got excellent A-levels but probably would from most schools – the opportunities from my boarding school to do DofE, theatre trips, gap year, class trips etc were amazing though.

   Kids are at state schools, no way I could afford private. I try to give them other opportunities but I was a bored 14yo who would sign up for anything to escape boarding school. Getting my own one to do anything beyond reading and video games at home is way harder.

7. Leg up but also left me entitled and bitter when things didn’t go my way because my family didn’t have the connections to take it to the next level. I spent many years doing ‘other things’ resulting in owning several businesses (not all at once and not all successful) and doing all kinds of crazy stuff but retrained and took a degree in my 30s and now have a professional role, same destination as my peers just took my 20+ years to catch up….but I did some mega interesting shit in the meantime.

8. My sister went to a private fee paying school. And I didn’t.

   Of the 4 children. My parents could only afford to send one of us.

   I always got higher grades than her. And I feel her daily school life was the same as mine.

   I also got into a better uni than her. And on a better course.

   However things changed after we graduated. I really struggled to find a job (over 6 years and still no luck). She got into a great company just a few weeks after graduation, her salary now is much higher than mine, even though she just works in administration, she’s in a top company with lots of benefits.

9. These days I’m trying to get into state education, private schools are a complete scam.

10. I went to one, hated every second of it. I was bullied and it was all chalked up to character building. The smaller class sizes didn’t make any difference and I felt more comfortable in a mixed class of my own age group.
    If I have kids, they will not be going to private school.

11. You can’t always tell, because you’ve only had the one life.

12. I did very well for myself and even managed to reach the position of Health Secretary. It’s been a torrid few years but I hope I can get the membership’s backing to be PM when the opportunity presents itself.

13. Doing very well thanks.

    Academically, boosted me up, no question. I think I would have done ok, and got to university, but the school I went to definitely helped me do better than I might otherwise have done. I got in on a scholarship, so my family weren’t the more typical middle-class public school types, my dad was a teacher, mum a nurse. But, the school was more normal in that respect than you m might think, so didn’t really feel like a fish out of water.

    I never mention my school anymore as it was so long ago, but, the university it got me into is pretty prestigious, so that’s a name that sort of opens doors/establishes credentials with people. I don’t think I’ve ever mention my school to anyone, or that it was a private school. I know in discussing it with one of my old school friends he says he ALWAYS mentions it to people as he thinks it impresses them. Well, whatever works for you I guess, to me that would come across as arrogant and stupid.

    Socially, it was a boys school, and I think that to me, was probably the worst thing about it. No, I don’t mean I think it should have been wall to wall sex, I just mean without girls around, it’s just gives you a skewed perception on life IMHO. Sets you back socially to some extent. So in terms of negative impact, living a weird, single-sex version of the world at large would be the biggest negative impact for me. I’ve always liked having girls as friends, as well as girlfriends, so that was such a hit to take in those important teenage years.

    Didn’t send my own kids to private school as I’ve made enough money to live in a good area that has good state schools. My wife went to a state school, and hates private schools, and doesn’t like typical ‘public school types’, so, no, it wasn’t going to happen. Have some public schools near us, which it is clear to me are much more focussed on the networking/social connection set up for life than maybe some of the state schools are. Different strokes for different folks, but I hate all that crap. I wouldn’t say I’d never have sent my kids to them, it’s just the situation never really happened, that’s not what we wanted to do.

14. I think the main thing is confidence and networking, naturally I’m socially anxious, introverted and whilst intelectual not very succinct which could just leave people confused and unengaged, however I learnt how to pull off being a bit scattered/quirky in a charming and inteligent way that people get on with at whatever level and build useful and lasting relationships. I’d generally call myself “diplomatic”, I can ultimately get what I need without annoying people. Activites involving meals, talks and networking result in a unique confidence that shows but people can’t always work out where it is from. I think something that is telling is my university friends always felt I could deal with people unlike anyone else, but my counsellor only took about 40 minutes to ask me “did you go to a private school” the first time we met.

    I guess there’s a commitment side too, the amount of extra circular activity I did at school was bonkers. Now I have a job I look back and think “damn I put a ridiculous amount of effort into that”. Then again I work as a quasi-civil servant in a government owned company, so not exactly the pinnacle of money making. But the attitude probably helps in that I want see things through to the end, get credit where its due and negotiate a deal that works for me (I seem to work significantly less than the vast majority of my old schoolmates).

    I guess too that my deepest friends for life are personally from my school days as are most of their friends as well. There’s also some desire to engage more back with my school, despite being very cynical about the place for various reasons. However it was also “emotionally hardening” and that doesn’t neccessarily lead to good things mentally.