Before I start I would like to start with the story of how I met them and why I am confused…
For the sake of the story and privacy, I shall call my bf Tyler and his brother Jack.
It all started back in August 2022, I first met them both because the place I used to work at. The father (M41) of them both was my manager so when they came into the country for the first time, they started working there. Initially I started talking to Jack even before they came into the country because his father wanted us to get to know each other. But of course we started to talk as friends.
The day came when I met them both and for the starting weeks they would cling to me and we went and see the city together. I showed them everything I knew of it and we grew close, the three of us. Before anything, I told them both I was no interested in a relationship because I was already hurt form one, and didn’t want to risk having another heartbreak. Even though physically I never had a boyfriend, I had virtual boyfriends that took every piece of me and turned it into shit. And of course they both started to try and change my mind about it.
During that time, a lot of people told me that Tyler (my current bf) had a girlfriend, including his brother Jake. But of course he denied it multiple times, including where he lied about having social media. In all his social media he had pictures of her and him, yet he denied about her. But I didn’t really give it much thought because I felt nothing for him and did not care. Around September I had a party in my mothers house where we all got drunk and that is where Jake (his brother) stole a kiss from me in front of Tyler (my bf) of course it was more than one kiss, the moment he stopped kissing me I slapped him. Starting October we grew a little apart because of some personal issues I had going on my personal life. But of course I saw them both on my work place, but because Jake worked next door, and Tyler worked with me in the same place, so I grew closer to him because I saw him almost every day. At that time I had a lot going on and I remember one day I could take it anymore and started crying on the little warehouse they had in my workplace, and I soon as I walked in I felt Jake follow me to ask me something, and I started to cry and as soon as I looked around, I saw him standing there. He didn’t say a word and he understood the situation. He hugged me so tight I felt all my problems were gone, that it was my safe place. And of course I vented everything out. One day I myself and my mother invited Tyler and Jake to go Christmas shopping with us but Tyler told us his brother was not available that day because he was working (spoiler, he wasn’t). Of course we only took them and that’s where everything began. That same day on November 29, he kissed me, and he kissed me very deeply. And I think that’s where I fell for him, but at the same time that’s where I felt so confuse about them both, because I liked them both. Not in a romantic way but as in a person way, I liked how they were as a person. They both liked me and I liked them both. But of course, I gave in for Tyler, so when Jake asked me to be his Gf I said no for the sake of Tyler. I felt so confused and sad that day. I wanted to escape, but I couldn’t. And that’s where the problems began. I was starting to question is Tyler really broke up with his ex girlfriend and if everything was a lie. Of course there was a lot of fighting but at the en of the day he lied, they broke up mid September- Start of October. He said he didn’t love her anymore and that is where all the rumors started about him bringing her into the country, and when I faced him about it, and I CUOTE, he said “If I wanted her to be here should would, in an instant” of course that changed after. One day in January they both started fighting about something that were left unattended in their country of origin, and of course everything escalated from there. I was prohibited from seeing Tyler and they were prohibited from talking to me. But of course none of them stoped talking to me. Then I hear a rumor where Tyler sent his ex girlfriend a bouquet of flowers for feb 14 stating the works “for the girl of my eyes” which at the end, the rumor was true, yet he lied about it. And mid feb I saw Jake, where he explained everything Tyler had lied about, yes, he sent flowers, and in fact, during that relationship he cheated because he kissed another girl yet she stayed. And it turns out, he got sick of the relationship yet he didn’t have the balls to break up with her. But of course it hurt, it hurts like hell still.
After he left I was crying all night and I was trembling like hell. And of course during those months, he would tell me to break up with me, every time we were supposed to go out, he left me standing, crying, because he never came to pick me up. Because of it, I dropped out of school and I went into depression. My mom found out and came back for me and took me to another state because I was prohibited from seeing him again. And after some weeks I came back and the same day I came back to the city, I found out that his ex girlfriend was also here, and AGAIN he lied to me and he brought her. Of course I was devastated. And to make it worst, she was staying with him (he lives with his father and brother) and of course, she was staying at his room. And it turns out she wasn’t here to get help, but to get back with him. It was a living hell, because all my family and everyone was against me and Tyler. She stalked my social media and faked text messages of me telling her to leave.
I still remember, may 1st, I received a text message from him at 5 am and one at 8 am. The ones at 8 am were normal, him replying from last night. But the ones at 5 am where the ones that destroy my soul to this day, it was pictures and videos of him and her sleeping together (not having sex) but them being hugged in the most sexual manner, her being dressed with the tiniest short ever and his hand on her, with the phrase “that’s how we sleep together every night”.
Of course as soon as I saw that I drove straight to him and slapped the shit out of him. Of course from that day it didn’t get any better. After that we still continued to see each other secretly, and only once a day. The day she left I felt relief, but my bf really didn’t do anything to make me feel better about it. I thought after she left we would finally be together, but no. He was confused of everything, he didn’t know what he wanted and I felt anger because I waited 8 months for this to finally happend (yes, I waited that long for me to finally be with him) yet nothing happened, So I waited another two months for him to figure out shit, yet he didn’t do it, I felt into a deep depression where I was alone, even he was absent, during all that time.
One night I almost got raped and called him multiple times and he never answered, and when I told him he just said sorry. I suffered a lot for him. There was this one time where I was trying to check his phone and he literally used so much force he left me bruised. Going back to the story, I got sick and tired about him being confused I “broke up” with him. And a week after I started dating another guy, we only lasted a month, but the last day I was with him, I saw Jake after All that time, and of course I said I was sorry for everything that happened, and that I was happy he was fine. I felt so much relief when I saw him, happened and every big emotion you can think of, because again I was going through a lot of shit and he again, felt like my safe space. That day he followed me to the bus stop and waited with me, I vented again and cried like hell and again, he hugged me till I was fine without saying anything. After that we continued to talk, but as friends, then starting November I started to talk to Tyler and we started dating again? But the thing is, he never really asked me to me his girlfriend, he never really is thoughtful, he never posts about me in social media even thought I have asked him a couple of times, he insist that we wait till a year, his first excuse was that I wasn’t “the one”, the other excuse was because I posted about my ex and it was to early to post about him, and the other excuse was that he felt insecure about his body, and the last excuse was that I thought it was Indispensable for me to be posted on social media because that’s all that really matters and not his other actions of love. I said, it wasn’t like that but there was nothing wrong with me wanting those stuff.
Of course I’m feeling confused because way before, his brother posted me without me asking to, and we weren’t even dating.
I sometimes miss the glimpse of me being with Jake in the safe space. His brother stoped talking to me after Christmas and I don’t know why, he was talking to me the day before and out of the blue he “hates me” and does not want to know anything about me, or that’s what his brother tells me. Keep in mind I am turning 9 months with my bf.
I don’t know what to do, should I break up with my current bf? Should I try and talk to his brother again? Was I supposed to be with Jake and not Tyler?