I'm a med student(20F) and he's a lawyer (32M).
We've been dating for months. At first, I didn't know he was married, and I didn't think of doing a background check since we were only communicating through text. We were happy and I really fell for him, so when I found out he was married, I broke up with him immediately, but he didn't want to. I didn't know what to do at that time. Fast forward, I agreed to be the other woman. I lowered myself just because I love him. Weeks passed, and I started living in their house since his wife wasn't coming home anymore. I became close with the people in his house and found out he had another girlfriend, and they had been together for three years. The girl was abroad, so I was the only one with him at home. I didn't confront him about that. I just accepted it because I was so foolish. Sometimes, I even made jokes about it.
One time, his wife found out about his relationship with the other girl, and he was super stressed, and I was the only one there for him at that time. Days passed, and then I got caught. His wife messaged me and confronted me. I completely denied it. They are both lawyers, so I was afraid she might sue me.
Our relationship continued. I really love him, and I feel like I can't live without him. But last night, we were about to sleep when his first girlfriend called. He said, "Love, don't make any noise, she's calling." I just nodded. Our relationship has become so open, but I don't want to find someone else. After hearing them, I was really hurt. I didn't know where the pain was coming from because I thought I was okay with everything. I wanted to stop. This morning, I tried breaking up with him, but he didn't want to. I've tried breaking up with him several times, but he never agrees. I don't know how to cut off our connections. I really don't want to lose him, but I don't want to see myself like this. He's such a sweet and caring person, but I don't want to settle for this kind of relationship.
TL;DR: If you allowed yourself to be the second mistress, should you accept every situation he puts you into?