Women of reddit what acts of kindness or you just being polite were mistaken for flirting?

26 comments

1. Performing basic customer service at my job.

2. Giving someone directions after he asked me for directions.

3. I enjoy conversing with people who have similar interests or if they know something I’m curious about. Apparently I can’t do that anymore because a lot of men assume I’m flirting even though I’m the same way around women. Its straight forward conversation, but because I’m a woman and not a man, it immediately means I must want to get in their pants?

   There’s a lot of people id love to have good conversations with but they just assume I’m into them and then I’m treated like something they need to win over or fuck. The change is startling. One minute you think they’re well adjusted and level headed. Then when they realize I’m conversing with them and interested in the CONVERSATION, it’s like their blood makes a u turn from their brain to their dick. Ffs.

   So now I dont talk to anyone. End rant

4. Smiling

5. laughing to his comment to clear up the awkwardness, humming a song to myself within his earshot, breathing the same airspace with him

6. Breathing

7. Holding the door for them when they were walking in after me.

   Being polite and just acknowledging their existence.

8. Smiling

9. Being polite. Ordering food. Speaking. Breathing. Pumping gas!

10. Existing in their vicinity.

11. Smiling. I naturally smile a lot, it’s in my nature and I can’t help it anyways. Apparently my smile is very attractive because men always think that I’m flirting with them. I am not. I am really not.

12. Giving my friend a high five and saying he did a good job at a game.

13. So many situations actually but one in particular, had an elderly neighbor that was complaining how on public holiday they don’t deliver newspapers he enjoys reading in the morning and said like “my life is ruined” and I felt really sorry for the dude so I asked which newspaper it was that I can go pick it up and bring it to him. And that, my friend, he interpreted as me flirting with like an old man who can be my grandpa. 🤮🥴 Be polite they say, it’ll be fine, they say. Luckily I moved from there, now just keeping to myself.

14. One time I handed a guy a paper that he dropped in the hallway and he had the most disgusted look on his face lmao. He told his friends “the emo was hitting on me” 😭

15. My long-ago ex texted me, asking how I was. I assumed it was because of covid, so I replied, also asking how he was. We exchanged a couple of messages over like three months, about work and life etc. A week ago he said he missed me and that he loves me (after 10 years of almost no contact). So it seems that genuine polite interest in ex’s life can be read as flirting. I even made it clear straight away that I’m still with the guy I’ve been for last 9 years. He said he wished us the best… and the message a couple of days later was: 🍒🍑😘 I mean, wtactualf 🤦🏻‍♀️ And I really thought we could be just WhatsApp friends, because he’s a good guy and I like talking to him. Guess that’s not happening.

16. Making conversation with a coworker about a shared interest in film and television.

    Proceeded to tell me I had great tits and say that we should hang out some time. Hard pass.

17. Conversing with the lonely old man at a coffee shop. Old enough to be my granddaddy, but it didn’t stop him from shooting his shot lol

18. Me befriending a person who is on my daily commute.

    His fiance accused me of ruining her life after knowing him for like a week and me being super excited to meet her and be her new client for her business where she does hair and stuff.

    I still see him on my commute after that incident. I ignore him like the dirt on my shoe and I’m glad he doesn’t try to talk to me anymore.

19. Laughing at their jokes

20. Just having a conversation. We could be discussing similar interests and suddenly they think I fancy them..

21. I knew a guy who thought I was flirting with him by ignoring him. To clarify, I barely knew him and we never interacted outside this one classroom. He was super loud and rude to everyone in class and when he would do it to me I just wouldn’t participate. To him that translated to “playing hard to get.” Then when I continued doing exactly nothing I was a bitch who “led him on.” Ah, high school.

22. Laughing, joking around. I do this almost compulsively but it can be misunderstood as flirting

23. Yesterday, at the grocery store. A man asked me where to find the sponges. I smiled and told him. I guess I should have stayed deadpan while talking about such sexy things.

24. I often compliment people because I think it’s nice and it makes people feel great. I am not complimenting men anymore, they always assume it’s to flirt. I find it weird because a lot of guys say that they would like to be complimented more and that they never do. But when you do, they assume it’s because you want to fuck them. No thanks

25. Volunteering on a crisis line. We got lots of sexual harassment calls, but we also had plenty of men who would talk about their issues, then finish with “You’re really nice and really care about me. Where do you live? Can I get your number?”

    Maybe go to therapy rather than looking for a woman to fix you. I’m here to help people, not looking for a boyfriend.

26. So a new-hire complained that I wasn’t being helpful when I explained the same thing to him three times and got mildly frustrated the third time (I didn’t yell, I just asked that he write it down so I could stop repeating myself and could spend more time with the other new hires). He got me removed from training and then proceeded to ask me out even though he was 20 years my senior. I am still baffled by the entire thing. I guess I should have answered no when he asked me if I was single. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m single for you.