TL;DR: my boyfriend (26M) of 6 yrs hasn’t lived with me (25F) after moving into my apt 3 years ago because he wants to save money and live with his parents so he can finish building his tiny house. Tiny home has stayed half built for a few years. He hasn’t had a job in almost 2 years, I’ve been starting to almost….nag him(?) into finding one and offering to help with resume or mock-interviews with him, he won’t do anything.
I’ve told him, multiple times now… that I’m worried about him not working as he isn’t saving money so he won’t finish the tiny home and I will not get to progress with him- he shuts down and gets angry saying things like I “am trying to leave him at his lowest” or that he’s “thrown away his dreams for me, how could I leave now” or that “everyone hates him, he can’t do anything right for for anyone” “I’m a burden” it’s just…..it’s never anything progressive. The conversations are never progressive, I do support him and often calm him down but the self-loathing while I try to find a solution is bothering me. I’m really really really fucking bothered. I don’t know how to help him, I don’t know what I can do. What the fuck should I do?
I am starting to resent the relationship. I’m worried that it is also preventing me from growing. I feel guilty because I know he’s just going through the motions maybe but it doesn’t seem like anything is going to change and I’m scared.