I just wanted to share some thoughts on why it’s okay to approach someone you’re interested in and ask them out in person. I know that today’s culture can make it seem scary, especially with the fear of coming across as creepy. But honestly, I’ve noticed that a lot of guys can be creepier on dating apps because they think sending sexual messages is a good way to get a response, they think it’s a good hook?
From my own experience, I’ve had a more positive response to men who have asked me out in person than I ever did when I was using dating apps. It seems more genuine and real than dating apps.
asking someone out in person, with respect and understanding, can actually be a great way to go about finding a date.
- Real Connection: Meeting someone in person lets you have a real conversation, even if short lived. You can see their reactions, their body language, and just have a genuine interaction. It often feels more meaningful than chatting over text.
- Respect Goes a Long Way: If you approach someone respectfully and understandingly, it usually goes pretty well. Start with a friendly chat, respect their boundaries, and try make sure they’re comfortable.
- Instant Feedback: In person, you get immediate feedback. You can tell if someone’s interested or not right away, which can save a lot of time, hurt, and avoid misunderstandings that often happen over text.
- Positive Impression: Approaching someone in person can leave a good impression. Ive noticed I think of men who approach me and ask me out kindly as bravery, which are qualities many people including myself find attractive.
- Learning Experience: Even if they say no, it’s not the end of the world. Rejections are part of the dating process and can actually be valuable learning experiences. They help you understand what works and what doesn’t, making you better prepared for the future. If you get rejected you’ll know what to do next time!
- Breaking the Ice: In-person interactions can feel a lot more natural and less awkward than starting a conversation online out of nowhere. When you meet someone in person, you often have a shared context or environment that can help break the ice. I usually get asked out when I’m at work so I know men will usually ask me a work related question or something about my town to help start the conversation.
If you’re wondering how to approach someone in person, here are a few tips for ways to do it:
• Start with a Compliment: Compliment something specific, like their smile or their outfit. Make sure it’s genuine and not overly personal.
• Ask a Question: Use a situational question related to where you are. For example, if you’re in a coffee shop, ask for a recommendation on what to order.
• Make a Simple Introduction: Introduce yourself and express your interest in getting to know them better. Something like, “Hi, I’m u/NoAsk3189. I noticed you from across the room/ I’ve seen you here a couple times and thought you seemed really interesting/pretty. I’d like to get to know you if that’s alright. Are you on Instagram or would you like to exchange phone numbers? (be careful giving out your phone number)
• Use Humor: Light humor can ease tension and make the interaction more enjoyable. Just make sure it’s appropriate for the setting and person.
Not everyone is comfortable with in-person approaches, and that’s totally fine. Always be respectful, and if someone isn’t interested, politely accept it and move on. The worst thing someone can say is no, and that’s really not the end of the world.
Overall, whether online or in person I think the dating world could use a little more respect and dignity like it had before dating apps existed.